#tbh i think that place needs at least three people to run it but corporate is shitting the bed currently so what can you do

[aidenwaites]

New job new job new job new job

[mowu-moment]

i feel controversial & i care too much, so here's my des rocs complete tierlist

ranked list & reasoning (ish) under the cut

1. WAYNE: hoholy shit wayne. can hardly put into words how explosive this one is to me. the intro sets a Whole Mood before swiftly (& cleanly) smacking it down into an Absolute Banger and i don't use the term lightly. very hard not to scream along with it. only detriment is that wayne the person is kinda an ass in the mmc video but that's no qualm

2. POS: basically the same thing as wayne (oh both have great lyrics btw, this one more so), only gets points knocked for being 2 minutes long and having 30 seconds of that being intro & outro. go danny give us nothing

3. WHY WHY WHY: there's a theme among my top picks--they're all hard-hitting w/ killer guitar. the lyrics are absolute batshit in a good way, but the chorus is a lil flat & i feel like in general it just needed a touch more spice to score the top spot. or maybe it's just seniority & it'll have a coup a few months out idk

4. DEAD RINGER: similar killer guitar & lyrics but this one is Groovy as Hell. don't particularly like his singing in this one & it's too repetitive if i'm feeling grumpy but there's something so magic about after the bridge. top 10 songs to twirl a flag to

5. NOTHING PERSONAL: the minute long outro irks me & it's a little bit empty but plays into that well. groovy, great lyrics, the Sexiest Guitar Solo of the lot, the screaming's a minus but it does have an emotion there. not entirely sure what one but it's there.

6. LET ME LIVE / LET ME DIE: his first time being all over the goddamn place, history was made. amazing guitar, a little worse lyrics than 1-4 i'll admit, the intro Slays me both in a good and bad way. must be a joy to play live where he can just drag out that intro & bridge as long as feels right. at least i liked it in the digital concert like that. would actually kill me in a physical concert, imagine how much stomping gets going to that beat. bonus points for presumable cowbell

7. PIECES: for once not this high for the guitar & lyrics, they're both kinda basic. idk what's about this one but it just takes me to a separate dimension & i love it so much for that. really fills those earholes. also a bit of personal meaning, heard it for the first time on the day we moved into the house i'm currently split-custody-living in (is that tmi?) & the first music video of his i saw. man i love some spaghetti on the wall

8. SLO: basically the same as dead ringer, but knocked points for a kinda lame outro & the subject matter being a little less interesting to me. still lovely.

9. HANGING BY A THREAD: not my normal fare really & the way that the ends of the verses don't really fit in the pacing of them is bleh, but it's just so reminiscent of the songs my brother puts on whenever we hang out together that it just makes me all warm & fuzzy. it's also nicely put together which is something i'll have to start saying for. the later list.

10. SUICIDE ROMANTICS: this is where i start griping about head voice & higher pitches in general. don't like em so the pre-chorus is a lil annoying. also not my normal fare but it's tender & the ending is awe-striking. imo better live where he's loud on that last line before the final chorus. not enough to bump it up though. shoutouts to love and a smoking gun, i still am dying to hear that one

11. THE PAST HAS PASSED AWAY: my favorite lyrics out of the first 2 ep's. only thing wrong with it really is the bridge getting kinda repetitive. love that last chorus heehoo. same schpeel as the Banger Category

12. MMC: this one's lower than the rest of the Bangers for being pop punk which is something the radio has made me dislike, i guess. that trope with the guitar in the second half of the chorus just kills me so much. improves greatly during & after the bridge, love that lil ragtime piano. generally the same bit as before but i do love him doing something un-romance-related. yeah fuck the establishment!

13. THE DEVIL INSIDE: reminds me A Lot of the electronic-ish cassettes i've got from the early 90's but that's just me. this one will probably move up as i get more used to it, but only a little bit. the first part of the second verse makes me like. genuinely uncomfy? but the second part of it's fantastic. ending's ass though what happened to the instrumence. bonus points for using 'reverie' that's an SAT word (maybe). good singing but returning to the gripe at higher pitches, just a little bit though

14. THIS IS OUR LIFE: feels shockingly generic for a des rocs song tbh but there's nothing really wrong with that. adore the bridge. singing's alright. kinda miffed that he doesn't pronounce the 'f' in the second 'life' in the chorus, but it makes sense here. that sort of thing won't later so i'm bringing it up now. guitar's nothing spectacular but fits nicely into the song, probably one of the most cohesive of his (especially in recent history).

15. OUTTA MY MIND: really lives in the same space as slo and dead ringer do in my head (most likely the 'songs to twirl a flag to' zone), but this is by far the worst of the three for when i'm grumpy. just. Very repetitive. back to great lyrics here but it's kinda hard to pick them out (i've heard the song at least 100 times by now & i'm still missing a few lines). still groovin'

16. RUBY WITH THE SHARPEST LIES: what the fuck actually goes on in this song by the way? not the premise or whatever it's just. so all over the place. the verses are incredible but bringing in another vocalist just for one line kills me. bridge is really cool but that one part i don't remember where it is, the one that alternates basically nothing & an Electronic Piano Chord blaring at ya? ruins it. partially anyhow. also can someone tell the people on genius that it's 'carved it in my skin' not 'crawled down in my skin'

17. GIVE ME THE NIGHT: same repetitive issue as outta my mind but it's not groovy enough to save it, shame. feels like a trial run of all the wackshit stuff he's been doing recently, with the additional vocal bits at the end & the kinda weird lyrics. it still has a place in my heart don't get me wrong but it's just fallen in favor of stuff that Commits to banger or batshit (or actually pulls off both strongly, yyy). oh yeah nice guitar alright singing etc etc

18. USED TO THE DARKNESS: similar story to give me the night. i love it i do, but it's just lackluster nowadays. also remember that under-pronunciation thing i brought up in this is our life? this is where that comes back. rampant i tell you! that second verse he just doesn't finish the words & i hate it!

19. DON'T HURT ME: i honestly don't know why this one isn't in D. the chorus bit where he just cuts it short is irksome. the lyrics aren't anything special. i don't know what i like about it. but i can tell it does exactly what it set out to do if that makes sense. respect, respect. and using missile in an analogy, he's getting creative with the vocab

20. LIVING PROOF: kinda got a vendetta against this one i think? i don't know why i hate this one but i do. it's just kinda, blah. like the perfect sort of thing to nightcore up. sentiment's lovely & i do love the lyrics even if they aren't impressive but like. it bores me to an extent

21. TICK (LIVE): separating the version i heard in the digital concert just to give it some credit, this one was actually kinda nice. another one with a nice sentiment & what he was going for is great. no clue what the second part of the second verse has to do with any of this though. and it also begins our final group, the songs that just feel empty. like there's not nearly enough going on. this one's alright though i was just hoping the studio version would add some flair. you can see where that one is though.

22. IMAGINARY FRIENDS: also got a vendetta against pop. kinda hate the sentiment here (contrast!), the chorus just falls short of what the verses prime me for, head voice is rampant, and yet i still swing along to it. it's infectious props to him. love the outro though, monkey laugh and all.

23. MAYBE, I: another empty one, like it's a four-note progression what is that. love his singing in it, and the chorus parts do round it out, but like. eh? it doesn't even give me much to say.

24. BORN TO LOSE: another flop on the chorus! too smooth i say! and i absolutely Despise the pitch-shifting thing going on. not something i was expecting him to express so points there, lyrics are nothing fancy to my Literary Mind though. initially good singing but the chorus he's just sloppy over it. the instrumental is lovely but the vocals just throw it so hard into the bin which is a right shame. fuck that outro too i hate that gimmick

25. I KNOW: here's where the bad batshit comes in. singing is some of his worst imo, does the other-vocalist thing for that bridge, genre i'm not fond of, just a soup of Stuff I Don't Like. not one i'd kill someone over putting as #1 like i can see where it comes from but. mmmmmhhhh bad. cover does NOT help his case.

26. HVY MTL DRMR: empirically i should put this one higher. but the chorus flops so goddamn hard it deserves to be in the bottom of the barrel. the verses are lovely for what he was doing back then! but then just... nothing!

27. RABBIT HOLE: i was so excited for this name but it's just sad boi hours playlist curated by some corporation you hate. probably the most nothing of them all, genuinely where are the instruments. what happened. was this one just shoehorned in as the final track just to pump numbers up. and i swear he had some autotune or something which only makes his voice worse it's fantastic naturally. also that's not what a rabbit hole is! that's not the idiom! a rabbit hole is when you go on a wikipedia spiral from jennifer lopez to group theory! not when you just have a shitty night's sleep or whatever this is! i'm not just miffed i'm downright annoyed

28. TICK (STUDIO): what the fuck happened des. how did you release this. it sounds like a 3rd grader singing for the school talent show it's so out of rhythm. singing's honestly kinda bad & the instrumental has the same problems i talked about in the live version. the last chorus is fine, i guess, but no i don't forgive him for what he did to tick.

[frecklef0x]

Mass Effect 1: Playthrough Masterpost

At last, I have finished Mass Effect 1!

I have heard some mutuals say they wish they could play it again for the first time, and you kind of can--through me! I’ve been posting little “episodes” of live-tweet-stream-of-consciousness as I play, and now I’ve compiled them into one post to make my life easier.

Anyway, here’s the first one, the rest are under the cut. :)

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode one

My ass looks great in this uniform, first of all

Impaled robo zombies, yikes

Cheap shot, Saren, smh. How will I pass my spectre test now?!

Why does he have robot eyes? Is he like, Geth-Turian? Why? Is he a robo zombie also? Was it the beacon???

Cool beacon nightmares, I'm sure this is fine

This Kaiden guy has implants? ORTEGA?!??!?

"Call me princess again and you'll be picking your teeth up off the floor" lol obliterated

The citadel elevators are very realistic, five minutes of tense silence huh

Ya girl got a PROMOTION and a DOPE SQUAD time to catch a TRAITOR

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode two

First things first, gotta go find the blue scientist to join the gang

This galaxy is HUGE! How many of these places will I actually be able to go?!

Only two friends at a time????? D:

Ah, a distress signal, let's see wha--A DESERT CENTIPEDE NOPE ABORT ABORT

Robo aliens? In MY Theronian mining facility? Its more likely than you think

Running over dudes in my Mako is extremely satisfying tbh

*runs over geth troopers* *runs over geth armature* *runs over geth colossus* ... *backs over geth colossus*

Working elevators in the ancient ruins ✔

Oooooooh man hope this nerd is gay

Wrex, a friend of yours? Nope, not a friend, too murdery

"ShAaaAame about the ruins Shep, sOooOo much collatoral damage, SHEP" stfu Council, "ruthless" was in the resume when you promoted us, 10/10 would shoot lasers through archeological digs again

When Kaiden calls us "ma'am" I am, uh, into it

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode three

Time to talk to the gang! Gotta meet the fam proper

Oh dear seems we got a shmee of racism on board, compatriots

Wow Raina, good foot-in-mouth moment with Wrex there huh...sorry about the eventual extinction of your race, lost this round of Pain Olympics

OH SHIT OH SHIT BLUE HOTTIE BIGENDER? THIS IS NOT A DRILL???

“hi I’m Kaiden wanna hear about my last crush ;)” “hi I’m Liara wanna hear about Asari mating rituals? ;)))” damn we really slidin right into the DMs no chill

Garrus: fuck rules and red tape amiright Raina: oh u right ;)

Guess I’ll actually do a mission now LETS GO LESBIANS LETS GO

Honestly rolling out with Tali and Liara is a mood, squad goals

Raina @ every corporation on Noveria: I would sell you to satan for one(1) corn chip

This reactivation puzzle is some shit

I see some Mistakes were made

We already killing moms at this stage damn BioWare

FUCK FUCK BENEZIA KILLED ME AND I LOST A FUCKTON OF PLAYTIME

THERES LIKE NO AUTOSAVE IN THIS BITCH FUUUUUUUUU

fuck fuck fuck god damn it gotta shoot a bunch of deranged baby bug people again god DAMN IT

Okay we killed Liara’s mom in front of her hope that’s fine

And we let mama bug go free because after talking to Wrex, Raina’s like “this galaxy is a little trigger happy with the genocide, good luck out there bug mama ❤️ be cool please”

I have literally watched the scientist in the hot labs get killed three times now

So far the debreifs with the council have not gone very well

“You let bug mama go?! How many generations until they take over everything???” “My money’s on two :D Place your bets now assholes or stfu :DDD”

Asked Liara if she was okay and she seems pretty Cool With It

I hope to one day return to Noveria and Death Star it into oblivion

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode four

Talked with Tali and this situation with the Geth and the Quarians is giving me an existential crisis

You “inspect” my beautiful ship? You got somethin’ to say about my crew??? Talk shit get hit, bitch I will kill you

Yoooo my old earth gang, yeah what the hell, I’ll help ou—oh nope nvm he’s a xenophobe, you hang him and I’ll shoot his friend in the face, thx for your time

Went to the citadel to finish some assignments, left tasked with twice as many

“dOn’T cUt CoRneRs” fear not dear Kaiden, I have a permit: this piece of paper that says I do what I want

Still with the elevators, I really cannot with this

“You make it all sound so...dangerous...” ;) ;))))))

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode five

Headin’ to Virmire to rendezvous with the Salarian team

A cure for the genophase?!?!?! :D

Oh wait oh no are we for real gonna talk about destroying the cure like Wrex isn’t standing right here omg

SHIT GUYS NO NOT LIKE THIS WREX PLEASE

Phew for a conversation that basically started with guns drawn, it went pretty well... “What Saren has isn’t even a proper cure, he’s just fucking with the Krogans at this point. Are we gonna stand for that? Or are we gonna murder?” “Damn Shep, you right, we gon’ murder”

Okay Ashley, go join the aliens, try not to die

Shadow Team!🎵 tearing through the base 🎶 disabling all the     defenses 🎵 (you gotta sing it to the tune of the Trogdor song)

We free the prisoners!!! :)

We shoot the prisoners??? :(

“Raina? How can you shoot them where they stand?” So it’s more merciful to let them explode? NAH FAM

This scientist is responsible for the mind control stuff? For Benezia? Fine     I’ll let her go but I hope she explodes

We did not learn our lesson concerning beacons I see

Wait if even Saren is worried about his mind control ship does that mean there are larger forces involved here?

Oh. Oh fuck

Ugh Ashley I EXPLICITLY TOLD YOU NOT TO DIE

(so we really never found any info about that genophase cure huh? disappointing)

Oh Seren, you dumb dumb. You absolute fool. Clown man.

When Raina slings Kaiden over her shoulder to carry him to the ship—mmmmmmmmwoooow I am very bisexual

Bruh Raina takes every council call and she disconnects pissed off every time

WAIT I literally just hung up with the council, ASHLEY is DEAD, and Kaiden needs a DTR RIGHT NOW?!?!? Boy, NO, READ THE ROOM

This has been a stressful day

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode six

Shepard will avoid her feelings and go to Faros instead

Seeing Ashley’s figure greyed out and her locker inaccessible makes me sad

Wrex and Garrus, let’s go shoot some geth 💪 

A mind controlling planet—of course!

Shep gets all her renegade points shooting capitalists

Saved, uh, about half the colonists

If I have one more bad acid trip I stg

Oh nope here’s another one

Shep needs a nap

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode seven

Ah, the council. Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal.

At least Liara is good at pep talks ;)

Joker, you cockblock

Haha DUDE we airborne, you THOUGHT

Now that I am exiled from the Citadel, guess I’ll run some galactic errands:

o   Killed corporate scientists who though we would rescue them lol

o   Destroyed a bunch of geth camps helping Tali on her pilgrimage

o   Disabled a nuke and killed some pirates

o   Shut down some evil Cerberus experiments

o   And illegally traded information!

Okay time to get back on track

So we may or may not be flying to our doom

OH GOD LIARA LOVES ME!!! RAINA, YOU DISASTER, YOU DID IT AAAAAH ❤️❤️❤️

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode eight

You know what I love? Being murdered by geth armatures

All these Ilos ruins be looking the same

Security panel is only kinda helpful

Oh, luckily I know Prothean now!

“CANNOT BE STOPPED” wow very encouraging, thanks

After that super motivating message and disabling security, its time to go down, down to goblin town

Vigil? Oh word?

My girlfriend is GEEKING out

I knew something what wrong with that fucking Citadel

Vigil: information is power. Also Vigil: What does it matter why they do what they do? All that matters is you stop them

“non-essential” personnel die first, huh? GROSS, VIGIL (gotta be honest that hits different in 2020)

Garrus gets it, I knew we liked that guy

Okay, find conduit, save galaxy, break millennium-old genocide cyle, nbd

Ugh Mako you gotta do me dirty one last time I see, I hate this thing

THE CONDUIT STRAIGHT YEETED MAKO

The citadel robot says we’re doomed : )

This shootout is SO fun, seriously

Saren get it toGETHER

Renegade Raina can kill with a conversation apparently, well done then

Concentrate on the Sovereign—why am I gonna save a council that hates my guts, sorry, but I have a JOB to DO that you ACTIVELY HINDERED

Great, zombie husk Saren, just what I needed as I mull over the possible consequences of my galaxy-altering decision

GO JOKER GO

Humanity-only council seems…questionable. Raina didn’t love the council but this sits wrong. Couldn’t we just appoint a more diverse council, including a human?

Anderson seems like a good enough dude, so…we’ll see.

TIME FOR WAR BOYS, GODDAMN WHAT A GAME

[plush-anon]

You worked at joanns? 😍 dream job

In all fairness, a large part (and I do mean a LARGE part) of why I enjoyed working at Joanns were the managers.

The store manager was a guy named Richard, one of maybe two or three men who worked there total, and this man was practically a saint as far as retail goes.

This was a man who would, with no hesitation, get on the floor to help customers, or hop on the registers to check customers' purchases out, or pop on to the cutting counter to cut fabric. He remembered the names of regulars, would chat and smile while getting shit done, and was the type of guy to speak slowly and softly when we had shitstains explode at us measly peons for not giving them the full cost of an item back in a return (ex $200) when they used a coupon to purchase an item to begin with and only paid a portion of the cost (ex. $150). No joke, this actually happened to me on Black Friday with a man who stood at about 6 foot with a crewcut and a snarl (the military Karen, if you would)

Richard, of course, stood at about 6 foot 5 inches, and reminded me of a ginger grizzly bear in some ways. Very few customers continued to be assholes when they asked to speak to the manager and Richard came over, smiling wide. He encouraged us to chat with the customers while we worked the cutting counter - it was a good way to learn about what they were making, encouraged general conversation and lent itself to a better environment for everyone, worker and customer alike, so we weren't just awkwardly standing in silence the whole time.

The assistant store manager (aka his second in command - we had two other assistant managers, but she wielded more power than both of them) was Farrah, and she was basically Cool Wine Aunt, but with weed. She was open about smoking it (but not in a pressure-the-underlings kind of way, but more of a 'yeah, it calms me down' kind of way) but never on the clock, and was just really chill in general. She was also a 'jump on the registers' type of manager, and on occasion would take the closing staff out to get a drink from the texmex place next to us in the shopping center, and cover one for each of us - particularly during the Holiday Clusterfuck of October, November, and December (their Frozen Kahlua Mudlslide was my alcoholic drink of choice - they also had these spicy chicken strips that were amazing with it, but I digress).

Both of them were amazing people who would support and back us up without hesitation (if they weren't dealing with corporate or stock trucks coming in), and both routinely worked 15 to 20 hours UNPAID overtime during the Holiday Clusterfuck so that we the underlings could get more hours without Corporate jumping up our ass about going over budget.

They were also refreshingly upfront in our monthly meetings about profits and meeting them, as well as why company policy was the way it was, and how to work within the boundaries so we got more hours. One of my favorite moments was when they said the fabric sales essentially covered their own cost (production and delivery); the rest of the cheap crap in the store was what covered our paycheck and electricity, so hawk it as much as you can if you want extra in the bank (paraphrasing here, but that's not that far off what they actually said tbh).

With some Karen-y exceptions, the customers were honestly pretty chill. There were two women from a nearby church who bought well over 200 yards of cut fleece to make no-sew fleece blankets for children and the poor in December (it took forever to do, but they were so cheerful about it and told some funny anecdotes in between, kept the counter clear as soon as they were cut, etc. Took them three carts to haul everything to the register XD).

There was the slew of quilters making everything from baby blankets to anniversary gifts to quilts for their grandkids attending the local university that they could wear to football games in the colder weather, while still showing team pride. They always bought quarters and eighths and the end of the bolt for half price, digging thru our remnants bin for something they might have missed they could get for half price. They always talked about what they were working on, and spoke in great detail on their kids or cousins or niblings or grandkids. I saw so many pictures on phones, in wallets, and they loved them to absolute pieces.

There were cosplayers making their first costume to comicon, halloween goers trying their hand at making their own outfits, and a few furries making custom suits for order or just updating their own personal outfit. There were the usual school and church Christmas plays that needed costumes, and folks making custom table runners and place settings for family holiday meals.

One notable young man bought out 30+ yards of our 65" inch wide bolt felt for JEWELRY projects he was making as a part of his business and as a part of his art program (you can major in art with a concentration in jewelry making, and he was using it for that). He didn't leave a card, but the pictures he showed us were STUNNING.

We had a few elderly mothers come in with their daughters, to pick out fabrics so they could make their own wedding dresses, or quinceanera outfits, or veils; they showed us the patterns they had, or the pictures they were basing the designs off of, and all of them were STUNNING. (One came back in with the finished dress in the bag, this intricately beaded poofy dress that had to have taken days, hot pink and shiny).

We had local restaurant owners pop in for re-upholstery projects and curtains and vinyl; same with teachers and deck dads and furniture restoration workers that would gush about the design, what they had planned. Some would bicker with their spouses on the pattern, but it felt good-natured on the whole.

We had some elderly men come in to peer over our sewing machines - "How much it run for? My wife's birthday is coming up and her old machine's about done, and I want to surprise her. She had a Singer, but she hates the electronic screens on some of these newer ones, they hurt her eyes." - and moms coming in to sew some custom bed sheets for their kids - "My son really likes the new My Little Pony show, but he's a little shy about it. Do you think the blue's okay? Only he like yellow more, but they don't have any back there and he doesn't MIND blue really but - Actually scratch that, how wide is the fabric? My pattern says it needs to be at LEAST 22 inches wide, does it say on the box?" - and people coming up with some WILD craft ideas that were always a delight to hear them gush about - "So this MAY seem crazy, but I can turn these plastic pumpkin trick-or-treat pails into SNOWMEN heads with felt like this. We fill them with treats for the kids since we don't have a fireplace and they like it fine, but someone said I should sell these on Etsy and people really like them! But I've run out of pumpkins, and you have NO idea how happy I am that you guys still have some left."

The group we had to work with was also pretty crafty; a few were chronic call-outs, some a bit lazy, some perpetually done-with-this-nonsense, but we were mostly on the same page on shift, and all of us were crafty as heck. The employee discount was a blessing AND a curse, lemme tell you.

Stock was the best part, for me. Hours before the store opened at 9 AM, we would rip open the boxes and stuff everything onto the shelves, organizing anything the closing shift missed the night before along the way, updating new stickers or shuffling pegs over for new product arrangement, etc. We could listen to music or podcasts as we worked, and I ended up impressing some of them bc of how fast I tore through everything some mornings (the music definitely helped out there).

I was actually about to be promoted to assistant manager after 6 months, but then I got my job with the university, and they had federal health benefits AND dental, so... yeah, no contest there. Richard actually laughed when I told him I'd been hired at the university and was giving my two week notice, since it meant he didn't have to do the slew of paperwork that accompanied new assistant manager hires. He congratulated me on the job, especially the health benefits - he said that was a perk worth leaving any job here for. I nearly cried with relief that he wasn't mad.

He and Farrah chipped in and got me a small music box that plays Man of La Mancha's Dream the Impossible Dream on my last day. It still sits on my desk at work.

It was honestly my favorite retail job out of the bunch I've suffered through. Surprising at first, since I initially received a rejection email bare HOURS after my interview with Farrah, but about a month later (as I trawled endlessly through interview after interview, desperate for anything those first few months ), I got a call back from them asking if I was still interested (which I was, bc hey a job!). They remembered me specifically bc I had missed my bus to the interview, called ahead to let them know I would be late, then walked the whole way there in the rain to get there. (It was only about a mile and a half away, so not a terrible journey, but flooding is an issue in our flat-ass city; I looked like a drenched afghan hound holding a useless umbrella, so enjoy that imagery).

They were particularly impressed by the calling-ahead part.

Unfortunately, both of them ended up moving on to different paths over the year after I left - apparently they had been friends with benefits (? I say hesitantly, since I ran into one of my coworkers at an art show later on and she spilled the beans there - she was a bit flighty in nature though, and got caught up in gossip a LOT, so who knows. Lovely brocade custom projects though), and his ex girlfriend had called corporate on them and got both fired.

I think Farrah came back some time later, but the damage was done after that - the new manager came in and operated SOLELY to corporate policy. A LOT went to pieces in terms of store cleanliness, order, and general camaraderie after that - the new fabric counter folks look and sound dead inside, and barely interact with customers (not even a 'whatcha making' in passing, which is kind of sad - the stories I got helped to pass the time, and kept me from using up all of my Set Conversation Phrases for customers that actually WOULD leave us standing in silence). Corporate also stopped some of the smaller store policies that made our job easier and gave the customers a little something extra (the 'end-of-the-bolt' discount - if, after the customer orders say, 2 yards of fabric on the bolt, and there's say, a half yard "remnant" left on the bolt, we can sell them the remnant for half-price. A LOT of quilters LOVED this, and we did too, since it saved us from filling out the remnant tag and printing a sticker later on).

Just goes to show how important good management is in a business; especially when it can kick a store previously part of the top 50 stores in the NATION (while being a medium store at that - smaller place, NOT Hobby Lobby size like the Large stores) to something much less pleasant. I could be rose-goggling the situation thought - retail is still retail, no matter how nice some aspects are - but it still sticks with me as to how good he experience was even taking into account that it WAS minimum wage retail.

Food for thought, lads, food for thought.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 258: Have You Thanked Your Twice Today

Previously on BnHA: All Might gave Deku a book with all of the previous OFA successors’ names, quirks, and career stats. Kacchan barely glanced at the book and was all “nah, boring” and JUST LIKE THAT he decided we’re not gonna get any new info, which I don’t think is very fair or considerate Kacchan but whatever!! Anyway though, All Might did reveal that Nana could fly and so Deku is going to learn to fly, so that’s fucking awesome, and then Kacchan and Deku had a moment of being bratty siblings together which I framed and put on my wall, so that was also very enjoyable. Back at the 1-A dorms we learned that Todoroki can’t cook, and the kids had a New Year’s party and talked about how they’re gonna be second years soon and how everything is just SO GREAT AND GOOD AND LIFE IS GOOD, and elsewhere All Might sat outside the teacher’s dorms and had a gorgeous fucking conversation with Aizawa that gave me all the feels. The chapter then ended with a THREE MONTH TIMESKIP to late March when apparently everything is about to go to shit. So yeah. Quite a lot to process there.

Today on BnHA: Hawks spends basically the entire chapter very slowly explaining to us that he became best friends with Twice, and it paid off dividends on account of Twice deciding that Hawks is definitely trustworthy and he should definitely tell him exactly where Tomura is off hiding in the mountains of Kyoto, because that’s the kind of extremely sensitive strategic intel that real best friends don’t keep from one another! Can you guys believe Hawks spent all that time trying to cozy up to fucking Dabi of all people when this whole time Twice was right fucking there. I bet you Twice would never have asked him to kill Best Jeanist and tote around his remains in a knapsack. Anyway so the chapter ends with the heroes launching what I assume is a surprise attack in where I assume is Kyoto, which probably explains that whole “on that day the heroes vanished” bit from the previous chapter. So let’s all wish them good luck, especially because THEY BROUGHT THE FUCKING KIDS WITH THEM GODDAMMIT. Oh my babies. Please be safe.

so I think I’m gonna go back to the Friday schedule since it just works better for me. just gotta remember to take the translations with a grain of salt, but all in all the quality last week wasn’t too bad, and overall the pros outweigh the cons

(ETA: the quality actually went down a lot this time honestly, but Friday still > Sunday in terms of me having the time to read this, so it is what it is.)

well this is interesting!

“in the absence of Endeavor” ? ??? the what now??? “oh yeah did we forget to mention, he’s gone now. we did some focus groups and made a few tweaks based on what the fans said they wanted.” well shit. let this be a warning to you all. it can happen JUST LIKE THAT

um. but I mean, that’s all well and good but uhhhh. [nervous glance toward Ujiko, Tomura, the 100k army, and the 11 noumus] ...

but maybe he’s just absent for the cover though. (ETA: yeah this makes a lot more sense after reading the last page of this chapter lol.) anyway so here we have everyone flying, as all good heroes do, including Deku who doesn’t really need that floating quirk after all I suppose, since he can jump real good. BUT IT’S STILL NICE FOR HIM TO HAVE IT SO SHHH

also the flower!Kacchan eyes are becoming more and more frequent lately. Horikoshi is really having a lot of fun with that

and now we’re going back roughly two months ago! which is still the future as far as I’m concerned! so this is really weird to have a “flashback” that basically still takes place after where we last left off. but whatever

“a week after the ‘hospital’ tip” well thank you, that certainly does help. so Twice is jogging in and beckoning to his best bud Hawks so Hawks is like “?” and walking over

(ETA: this has absolutely nothing to do with anything, but I just wanted to say that it’s very possible this flashback is actually taking place on Shouto’s birthday -- January 11th -- given the timing, so happy birthday Shouto! you are getting so big!)

lol see this is one of those times where the whole ‘translation of a translation’ thing doesn’t really work sob. even with context I’m not quite sure wtf Twice is actually asking, but at any rate this at least does give us an idea of how the rest of the League is spending their time now that they’ve completed their whole villain corporate merger

so Spinner and Compress, who actually have a few brain cells to rub together between the two of them, are already deeply involved in running things, and meanwhile Giran, Dabi, and Toga don’t really give a shit and so are content to sit back and wait until their services are actually needed. incidentally I like to think Giran spends a good chunk of his free time just tormenting ReDestro in a bunch of really small and petty ways. like making him get his coffee, and having him call and cancel his cable subscription and stuff. it’s just nice

guys I have no idea wtf is going on in these four panels honestly

well you heard him. that’s the situation. nobody trusts Twice (or was he talking about Hawks?), and meanwhile he has to go poo. not exactly where I thought this chapter would be picking up after that fun little cliffhanger last week, but just goes to show this series truly is a magical Kinder Egg and you never know what you’re gonna get!

so Hawks is explaining for my benefit that Twice was apparently doing an impression of some guy named “Sanctum” who is the oldest member of the MLA

holy shit it took Hawks a whole month to figure out all of the Pliff members? I’m just gonna pass then. thankfully I’m not a spy and I don’t have the fate of the free world depending on me memorizing the organizational chart of a bunch of really boring people whom I really do not give the slightest fuck about. anyway godspeed Hawks

oh no

son of a bitch. we’re in for another long fucking arc aren’t we lmao. well all right then let’s go ahead and do the rundown

Black 1: Fuhrer King Bradley

Black 2: Flying Ace

Black 3: Mother Ginger

Violet 1: Super Mario and Just A Bald Man

Violet 2: Predator and Best Sweaterist

Violet 3: Vizard and Gang Badger

in conclusion, Horikoshi will never stop making Alien/Predator references, and I’m also seeing some strong FMA and Bleach influence here as well. hell, the Mario guy even reminds me of some of the fishman characters from One Piece. so basically we’re all over the place here

other observations: “the new world movement”, huh? are they moving on from PLF at long last? I’ll take Newm over Pliff any day tbh

and so they have a tactical force and a raid force. now that’s interesting as fuck, because who exactly are they planning to raid? now that’s a nice disturbing question to ponder

lastly, the black and violet color schemes are very interesting and I wonder if there’s any significance there that’s going over my head lol. for now I just think it sounds cool regardless

-- MOTHERFUCKER THERE’S A WHOLE NOTHER PAGE OF THIS SHIT FUCK ME I FUCKING QUIT

goddammit. fine

Carmine 1: Lefty Hair and Gerudo Princess

Carmine 2: Slidin’ Go Away and R2-D2

and I can’t see Carmine 3, oh well. meanwhile on the other side we’ve got:

Cleveland 1: Praying Mantis and Righty Hair

Cleveland 2: Jawa and Just Happy To Be Here

and last but not least, Cleveland 3: Badger’s Revenge

what I have learned from this is that I don’t really know what a badger looks like and so any remotely rodent-looking animal person with stripes on their face is going to be slapped with that label because I don’t have time to research what would be a more appropriate animal nickname unless we want to be here until next week. anyway

haha Hawks what the fuck

well that sure is encouraging. so how exactly are the heroes supposed to get the drop on them then? basically we’re fucked, is what you’re saying. well we all been knew so whatever

so Hawks is monologuing to himself about how he was able to nice his way into learning all of the army’s members without getting caught, and in the process he observed how all of the members are all “FUCK THE SYSTEM”, which they definitely have a point about but are also definitely going about the wrong way holy shit

so now he’s feeding some good rabble-rousing lines to Twice who is eating them up

yeah, because Twice famously loves ReDestro lol, oh wait

so Twice is all “I don’t wanna say something that’s not from the heart” because he is PURE and not a Sneaky Sam like SOME PEOPLE! but he understands Hawks’s point that he basically just has to butter them up and tell them what they want to hear, and now he’s running off with a hearty thanks

fffffson of a --

like, you all can see the breakdown in logic that occurred here, right? “some heroes are corrupt” -- absolutely! “kill all heroes” -- wait, what

like obviously there are some real world parallels here. but I very much get the feeling that the PLF/NWM’s movement is fueled less by sentiments of “our law enforcement system is trigger-happy, racist, void of empathy, and think they’re above the law” and more by the notion of “our self-proclaimed superiority gives us the right to do whatever we want and trumps other people’s right to be safe and free, particularly if those people are unfortunate enough to not have quirks.” like, there are a lot of other nuances we could get into here, but that’s basically the gist of it, so yeah. these guys are not to be sympathized with here

and now there’s a big double page spread basically confirming that what these guys really want is blood and anarchy

and the really interesting thing here to me is that we can see Tomura standing at the front of the pack in that bottom right panel. but on the very next panel, with the close-up of Hawks looking as serious as we’ve ever seen him, he basically says that the endgame of all this, the ultimate outcome that this is all meant to bring into place, is one thing and one thing only

yep. well fuck

anyway I have no idea why he’s thanking Twice, but I’m gonna go ahead and guess he unknowingly did something which might give the heroes the potential glimmer of hope which they desperately need. so I will go ahead and thank you too, Twice. you’re a good guy buddy

oh wow there’s a whole page of more meta about Twice! -- and OH SHITTTTTTT

LKDsjflkjsdlfklskgjlskjlfkjsdlfk oh my fkfdjflk how did this never occur to me, just. FSDKLFLSIFKjk

hahaha. :’) holy fucking shit. they have to take him out. they can’t win otherwise. the heroes are already screwed enough as it is with just one Tomura and eleven high ends to contend with; if Twice is able to use his quirk to multiply that exponentially, we can basically kiss the world goodbye. fuck

but Hawks came to realize that Twice is actually a good guy though as echoed above! which, yeah, and can you imagine if he wasn’t, though? shiiit

oh my god they are so cute

listen, I won’t lie, I’m reading this for my 1-A children first and foremost, so there’s a part of me that’s like “HOW MANY MORE PAGES ARE WE GOING TO GET OF THIS JESUS CHRIST.” but there’s no denying that Jin is a good turnip and his unexpected friendship with Hawks -- which I am happy to report is now confirmed to be genuine! because Hawks really does like him! -- is a delight to witness

OH MY GOD TWICE LMAO

“HERE, LET ME JUST DRAW YOU A MAP! (⌒∇⌒。)ANYTHING FOR YOU, BEST FRIEND”

holy fucking shit Twice. did you just save all our asses you beautiful bastard

so between this, and the “hospital” clue, that could be enough to track him down, couldn’t it? no wonder Hawks was so pumped after getting that call. what are the odds this chapter ends with the start of a hero-led raid on a hospital in Kyoto. oh shit oh shit oh shit

lolol oh fuck me

I swear to god Horikoshi if you end this bromance by having Hawks kill Twice for the sake of the greater good, I’ll. ... well I sure as hell won’t like that. please do not

AND JUST LIKE THAT WE’RE BACK TO SPRINGTIME OH MY GOD

what a time to enter the first fucking grade Dai-kun. godspeed little man. I love the little detail that he’s holding an Endeavor plush while looking at the All Might statue. drawing strength from both heroes. aww

and then of course we have this fucking march of heroes which I can only hope is them heading to that hospital! no wonder they all vanished. they all ran off to Kyoto to try and put a stop to the villains’ plans before it’s too late

but I don’t see any of the kiddos there, though? don’t tell me the villains are gonna try something while the adults are away and leave the kids to deal with it all on their own

oh shit no!!! hold up!!

DON’T TELL ME THEY REALLY DID BRING THE KIDS WITH THEM ON THE EXTREMELY DANGEROUS “TIME TO GET OUR ASSES HANDED TO US BY NOUMURAKI TOMURA” MISSION NOOO MY BABIESSS

oh thank god

at least they don’t have the child soldiers on the front fucking lines, fucking christ

AHHHHHHHHH

SAY A PRAYER FOR KATSUKI’S WINTER COSTUME, EVERYONE. BE AT PEACE, SLEEVES OF GONDOR. FAREWELL BEST JEANIST TRIBUTE COLLAR

is this T chest thing on Shouto’s costume new? I can’t imagine that serves any sort of practical function whatsoever; he was probably just tired of looking boring

BUT!!!! those gloves, though!!?! now those are definitely new and I fucking love them. again I can’t really see them having much of a practical application given his quirk, but there is nothing wrong with upgrading oneself just to look sharp! boy wanted a facelift so he went out and got one

that’s some nice Anime Protagonist Wind they’ve got going on there in the mountains of Kyoto. real epic shit

1-B is there too!! and also Hadou, I think, unless that’s Pony? so that’s fucking awesome. we will certainly need all hands on deck

so that’s it for the chapter! not much happened, but we got a lot of Twice appreciation and learned that the heroes still have a few tricks up their sleeves! can’t wait to see how this will all go disastrously wrong. if you ask me, it’s probably when they decided that the best way to launch a surprise attack was to have fifty Endeavor-led guys gather all together and march up Main Street. but far be it from me to tell the heroes how to do their job I guess. best of luck not dying everyone

[phoebehalliwell]

Yo that anon with the Bianca/Dency 👌🏻👌🏻 but like ohhh Dency coupd totally meet a cute Phoenix in her universe tho!! 👀 Or maybe a dark Witchlighter? Idk I think her falling I love with a more “neutral” witch hybrid would be cute!

And like do you think her little agency would work with neutral magical sources like phoenixes to find people? Because like Dency could be like a Penn but for the opposite side? If that makes sense?? Like Penn is bringing all the “light” witches together but Dency is really the figures head for the “dark/neutral” witches like the witch hybrids and the phoenixes…like Dency is kinda like the unintentional beacon of light for that side…just by being herself? Like maybe she doesn’t actively campaign for more acceptance for hybrid witches but her mere existence alone and the good she does is enough to get the ball rolling?

tbh as far as dency love interests go i'm a little bit torn because i have this mortal rashid idk if i've talked bout him before but like. he and dency have a classic rivals to lovers arc going on in college liek they fucking Hated each other blah blah blah she definintely gaslighted him a lil with her powers nothing malicious jsut like. teleportation like ha there's no way she'll beat me 2 the best spot in the library bc i just saw her walking up the steps while i am already inside and then boom he walks over there and she's there how?? the fuck>? teleporation fuck u. the point is thru their quasi spy vs spy antics i think they start to gain a sense of respect for one another than and he goes political journalism did this question even mention love interests idk That's Not The Point rashid does politics while dency's a bit more of a muckraker kinda more on a corporate side fraud and all that so they no longer are competitors and um. like they can finally appreciate the other as they are no longer and opponent as with most dency characters they have hooked up a couple times i shouldn't say that because as far as characters that have been introduced dency has slept with none of them bc they are all her besties u should never sleep w ur besties only ur homies but i think. i've stated this before? for starters dency doesn't do a lot of long term relationships just because you know that level of vulnerabilty and like if u really like someone then it's just leverage thatcan be used agianst u Or if u die then ur gonna break their heart but i think she does casual relationships with literally anyone but witches i. haven't posted the chaapter fuck i'll post it now because i've been sitting on it for so long and like i'm worried i'm gonna back myself in a corner w a it's not a plotline i don't like maybe just a plotpoint but i've like. written half the next chapter anyway. i'm also sitting on about 10k i think not only. 7k? unpublished w&s because it's like ending the narrative is ending i really need it to be coherent Speaking of incoherent. dency. i'm gonna post the chapter. but dency hangs out a lot at p3 which has changed hands piper owns her restaurants the backstory for this is.

paige has a charge back in the late aughts she's in a coven the point is her bestie has some traumatic incident happen to her and she wants revenge and it's something that (imo) totally justifies revenge like a killing her rapist type thing and like. it depends how we're going with charmed morality but i've established before i think (?) it's canon that if a witch takes an innocent's life she becomes a warlock like it's possible for witches to defect and become warlock if they take a life Specifically an innocent's life and even tho like that guy would be a mortal he def doesn't get innocent status because he's fucking evil she's allowed to murder him but i think she would murder someone else in the process and then causes her to lose her witch powers and gain a couple warlock powers and the rest of her coven shuns her for it which could have easily sent her down a dark path but paige's charge her bestie like stood by her thru all that like. like it's shit cosmic rules tbh. maybe. for legal reasons: i am not endorsing murder. please for the love of god don't make me admit to a grand jury i have a tumblr that'll be so cringe bro do not murder anyone. but paige's charge stands by her and idk maybe paige gets her a job at p3 all that the point is when piper sells the club to open her restaurant she sells it to paige's charge and her gf the warlock. so p3 kind of becomes a neutral power for magic no vanquishes allowed and it's one of the few places dark magic has on the surface just to vibe u just have to be able to tolerate being served by a witch like she owns the place so that kind of filters it. idk if this is more rambly than it normally is. i promise i'll go back in later and add periods. maybe. i am also a liar. but the point is i think p3 is one of the few places dency can really be hersefl because herself is half demon!! and at magic school she really is suppoed to feel ashamed of that like she hates it or something wishes it gone and Yes. it does scare her. being the source's heir all that. she's always worried about giving in to dark magic but like. she's a demon!!! there's no changing that there's no fighting that pushing it under the rug like. she can't change it she does want to spend her life hating herself like. it's who she is. fuck. so i think she doesn't date witches but like the regulars at p3 some warlocks the occasional like darklighter. dency has had romantic trysts with.

beck to rashid her mortal homies who she has hooked up with who they've always had this rapport they have this thing. bc rashid's smart okay that's why he's at dency's level (respectfully she gets her brains from her father i love phoebe but she's intuitive not intelligent cole on the other hand passed the bar exam (i think) so like.) rashid knows something's up. the point is they each give the other three questions. three questions you ask that the other has to answer fully honestly cards on the table no half truths nothing just the answer. rashid used one of those to find out dency's a witch, but she made him work for it. nothing vague like what are you strange things happen around you why like she's like ask your question but you better be specific about it and he's like fuck it. whatever. magic. that's my answer i think magic happens with you and no i'm not flirting i'm dead serious is magic like. are you magical? and the answer was yes. and rashid like while he was asking while he was like confident enough to admit that out loud to ask that to her face Did not see that coming. of course. there's a difference between like yes i can cast a couple spells and yes i'm the antichrist so. : )! but i think that's like a rapport thing between rashid and dency like whenever they ask hard hitting questions like "is that one of your three questions?" but idk if he's gonna. if he's gonna be it for her. there's also jack dency's childhood bestie so there's the childhood friends to lovers thing but like. i just don't see jack being in love with dency in that way like they're best friends. but not lovers. (but maybe they are??? idk)

But. third potential love interest is if i weren't goign for those two i was actually thinking.

two options here a cupid who reocgnizes dency as "the demon with the cupid ring? yeah that's gotta be the source's heir". so there's that i like the idea of. yeah. : )

but also. and i came up w this in an ask which i will not evne attempti to find. i'm sorry i can't spell you guys but it;s not happening 2nite beloeveds. but if u'vemade it this far. i do love u w my whole heart. dency. love interests. old ask about a squad a half-grimlock. appeal of being able to see auras see good people. this was originally in the ask. a love interest for billie?? maybe. idk. but just like. for dency someine who's always known htey have this immense dark side like. hmmmmmm okay i just thot of somehting. for lili. whish is phillipa. which is the prandy thirdborn. she's phsycics. however tf u spell that sykick. that's not the point dency who has. the source on her soul. falling with someone who can literally see the good in her. i'm picturing the half grimlock just ot like like a normal albino human. and they run a halfway house for those born of evil. because he or she or they idk>??? maybe neorponounds idk!!> whoever they r they run a halfway house for these kids born from demons warlocks darklighters bc they can see the good in them and that shouldn't. you get so scared gifted with these powers you don't understand they need a place to turn to. and the grimlock grimmy offers that place. def not their name but like. grimmy lmoa. ao. yeah. i think jsut opening i think integating magic schoolesp in a dency timeline what with penn and the elders and their pomp and circumstance i think it'd be a pain in the ass. but at the very least A magic school for kids wihtout light magic like they deserve it. evil shouldn't just be their default option. like they're just kids man they're jsut kids they deserve a shot at not even good man not everyone has to go on to be exceptional cure cancer and save the world just like. a chance to understand themselves not be scared. not be hated, jsut be/ like. do they not deserve that? so if grimmy's not a li for dency at the very least they are homies and they like pull together a magic school for neutral/dark beings.

[winchesterbrotherstan]

SPN- Croatoan (2.09)

🥺🥺🥺

Pairing: Olive Winchester (sister OC)

Summary: After Sam sees something in a vision, the siblings set out. The case tests their bond, and Dean reveals a startling secret

(tbh i think you can tell how much tv i watch based off how i write descriptions LMAO)

Warnings: cursing, blood, uhh it’s a virus so maybe don’t read if current events are freaking you out, death, some shooting, guns, uhh, so much blood, olive growls a lot i felt like a furry writing this, uhh, idk, the usual

Word Count: 6719

I snorted at Dean’s joke as I pushed the motel door open, tossing the keys onto the table by the window. Dean shut it behind me, and Jinx came running, howling and whining. I looked up to see that the room was empty.

“Sam?”

He popped up between the beds, panting. I shoved the bag of beef jerky into Dean’s hands and ran to Sam, kneeling beside him.

“Sammy?”

“Sam?” Dean joined me, eyebrows creased in concern.

“No…”

                                                             ***

“Continue on OR 224 West.”

“There are only two towns in the US named Rivergrove.”

“How come you’re so sure it’s the one in Oregon?” I asked, running my hand through Sam’s hair.

He sighed and squeezed his eyes shut. “Uh, there was a picture. Crater Lake.”

“Alright, what else?” I coaxed.

“I saw a dark room, some people. A guy tied to a chair.”

“And I ventilated him?” Dean asked, glancing over and then back at the road.

“Yeah.” Sam nodded. “You thought there was something inside of him.”

“What, a demon? Was he possessed?”

“I don’t know.” Sam whispered.

“It’s okay.” I cooed, hand still in his hair.

My arm was hooked around the back of the bench and I was propped up on my own feet, but playing with each other’s hair was something the three of us always did to calm each other. Jinx was standing on her hind legs and pawing at my hands.

“Well,” Dean sighed. “Your weird-ass visions are always tied to Yellow-Eyes somehow… was there any black smoke? Did we try to exorcise it?”

“No.” Sam shook his head. “Nothing, you just plugged him. That’s it.”

“Well, I’m sure there was a logical explanation.” I shot Dean an anxious look.

“I sure hope so.” Sam mumbled.

“What does that mean?”

Sam said nothing, and I looked at Dean again, chewing at my bottom lip.

“I mean, I’m not gonna waste an innocent man.”

Sam’s eyebrows shot up, and I glared at him.

“I wouldn’t!” Dean protested.

“I never said you would!” Sam hissed.

“Fine!”

“Fine!”

“Boys!” I took my hand away from Sam’s hair and sat back down with an angry huff. 

Jinx let out a loud whine, curling up in the backseat.

I sighed. “Cut it out. Look, we don’t know what it is. But whatever it is, that guy in the chair is a part of it. So let’s find him, and let’s see what’s what.”

“Fine.” Dean frowned.

Sam scowled. “Fine.”

                                                              ***

I shivered as we walked across the patchy lawn, toward an older man, who was cleaning his rifle. Jinx pulled on the leash, and Sam cleared his throat as he pulled back. I could barely manage her at this point.

“Morning.” Dean greeted.

“Good morning.” The man set the rifle down. “Can I help you?”

“Yeah.” Dean flashed his badge. “Uh, Billy Gibbons, Frank Beard, Dani Mitchell. U.S. Marshals.”

The man eyed me and then Jinx, and Sam cleared his throat. “She’s a trainee, she’s at the top of her class. This is Jinx.” He motioned to the dog. “She’s also in training.”

“What’s this about?”

“We’re looking for someone.” I spoke, looking up at Sam.

“A young man, early twenties.” He blinked, hard. “Uh, he’d have a, uh, a thin scar right below his hairline.”

“What’d he do?”

“Well, nothing. We’re actually looking for someone else, but we think this young man could help us.”

“He’s not in any sort of trouble or anything.” I eyed the man. “At least not yet.”

Dean’s head tilted ever so slightly, and a small grin flashed over his face. My own lips twitched into a smirk. He had just found us a way in.

“I think maybe you know who he is… Master Sergeant.” He smiled. “My dad was in the Corps. He was a Corporal.”

The man’s face softened. “What company?”

“Echo-2-1.”

Sam and I looked at each other, then back to the man. “So can you help us?”

He hesitated, then sighed. “Duane Tanner’s got a scar like that. But I know him. Good kid, keeps his nose clean.”

“Oh, I’m sure he does.” Dean smiled. “You know where he lives?”

“With his family. Up Aspen Way.” The man pointed.

“Thank you.” Dean nodded his head.

We turned on our heels and started back toward the car. I couldn’t shake the bad feeling in my stomach. I looked over my shoulder, only to see the man staring at us with a nasty glare. I stumbled over a crack in the road, and Dean snatched me back onto my feet.

“You okay, Ol?”

I nodded. “Yeah. Just got a bad feeling.”

Sam was already across the street, staring at something on a telephone pole.

“Sams?”

He waved us over and pointed.

CROATOAN

“What’s that?” Dean frowned.

I huffed. “Roanoke.”

Dean stared blankly.

“Dude. Lost colony? Ring a bell?”

Dean shook his head, and Sam rolled his eyes.

“Did you even pay attention in history class?” I squinted.

“Yeah!” Dean scoffed defensively. “Shots heard round the world, how bills become laws…”

I giggled. “That’s not school, De.”

“That’s Schoolhouse Rock.” Sam scoffed.

Dean rolled his eyes.

“Roanoke was one of the first English colonies in America. What was it, late 1500s?” I looked up at Sam.

“Oh, yeah.” Dean frowned. “Yeah, I do remember that. The only thing they left behind was a single word carved in a tree.”

“Croatoan.”

“Yeah. And I mean, there were all these theories. Indian raid, disease.”

“Nobody knows what happened. They were just gone. Wiped out, overnight.”

“You guys don’t really think that’s what’s going on here… do you?”

I sighed and looked up at the boys. “Sams? What do you think?”

“Whatever I saw, it wasn’t good. But what do you think could do that?”

“I mean, like Dean said, all of your weird-ass visions always have something to do with Yellow Eyes.”

“We should get help.”

“Bobby? Ellen, maybe?”

I shrugged. “I can call Ellen, you call Bobby.”

Dean nodded, fishing his phone out. I dialed Ellen’s number, but the call wouldn’t go through.

I frowned and showed it to the boys. “No signal.”

Sam and Dean shook their heads. They didn’t have any either.

Dean looked around and whacked us each on the arms. “Payphone.”

Dean picked it up and held it out. I stood on my toes to hear. It beeped, the usual out of service beep that came with old phones. The boys looked at each other, and Dean clicked the receiver multiple times.

“Line’s dead.” I sighed.

Dean hung up the phone. “I’ll say one thing, if I were gonna massacre a town, that would be my first step.”

                                                            ***

I shuffled into step behind Sam and Dean as we made our way toward the cabin. I looked around as Dean huffed. We had left Jinx in the car. This looked like the place to get murdered, and we didn’t want her there if that happened.

“I’ve got a bad feeling.” I mumbled.

Sam sighed and knocked on the door. We stared at the tacky sign that read born to fish, forced to work, hung by the door.

“Yeah?” A boy my age opened the door, staring with dead eyes.

I shifted closer to Dean, feeling like I was about to be sick.

Dean flashed his badge. “We’re looking for Duane Tanner. He lives here, right?”

“Yeah, he’s my brother.”

The boys and I shared a look before we turned back to the boy.

“Can we talk to him?”

“Oh, he’s not here right now.”

Dean sighed. “Do you know where he is?”

“Yeah, he went on a fishing trip up by Roslyn Lake.”

“Are your parents home?” Sam squinted.

“Yeah, they’re inside.”

“Jake? Who is it?” Mr. Tanner shuffled out into the doorway, standing by his son.

“Hi, U.S. Marshals, sir. We’re looking for our son, Duane.”

“Wh-why?” Mr. Tanner’s eyes got wide, but he too, looked like there was nothing inside.

I cleared my throat and inched further away, bumping into Dean’s side. His hand landed on my shoulder as Mr. Tanner spoke again.

“He’s not in trouble, is he?”

“No, no, no.” Dean shook his head. “We just need to ask him a couple of routine questions, that’s all.”

“When’s he due back from his trip?” Sam forced a polite smile.

“I’m not sure.”

“Well, maybe your wife knows?” I piped up.

“No, I don’t know.” Mr. Tanner began to stumble over his words. “She’s not here right now.”

“Your son said she was.” My eyes narrowed.

“Did I?”

I couldn’t stop the confused scowl that danced over my face as I looked back at Jake.

“She’s getting groceries. So, when Duane gets back, there’s a number where he can get a hold of you?”

“Oh, no.” Dean shook his head and grabbed my shoulder, pulling me back. “We’ll just check in with you later.”

We turned and walked down the steps. The door slammed shut before we made it back onto the dirt path. Dean turned with a furled lip, and Sam looked uneasy.

“That was creepy.”

“Yeah. A little too Stepford?” Dean offered.

“Big time.” Sam agreed.

We looked around, noticing that these people had no neighbors within at least a mile. Dean and Sam shared a look, and I caught Dean’s eye, nodding.

“Stay behind me.” He ordered as he pulled his gun out.

Sam and I followed suit, leaving me, as usual, sandwiched between the two. Dean led the way, sneaking around to the back of the house. Dean cleared his throat before setting himself up. I flinched as he kicked the back door down. We rushed in, guns raised.

Tanner came at us with a knife, but Dean reacted faster, shooting him at least three times, shredding his chest to pieces. The boy jumped through the window, leaving glass shards as he darted off into the woods. I lined up my shot, but before I could pull the trigger, Sam knocked my gun from my hands. I jumped with a squeak, and Dean was immediately at our sides. He pulled me into his chest and stared at Sam, panting.

                                                            ***

Sam helped Beverly out of the backseat as Dean and I popped the trunk, eyes darting around every few seconds. The wind howled, and I jumped, growling back. Jinx was standing by my side, a similar growl leaving her mouth.

Dean sighed as he grabbed my arm. “You’re okay. Come on.”

I slammed the trunk shut as Dean grunted, shuffling under the weight of Tanner’s dead body. I walked two steps ahead of him, pushing the door of the clinic open and holding it for him. We walked down the hall, apprehensive as we turned the corner and rounded into a room. Jinx ran straight into Sam, who squatted and patted her head.

“Is that…”

“Mr. Tanner.” Dean cut the woman in the white coat off.

“Was he attacked too?”

“Uh… no, actually.” I sighed. “He did the attacking and got himself shot.”

“Shot?” She repeated.

“Yeah.”

“Who are you?”

“U.S. Marshals.” I flashed my badge.

“Oh. Bring him back here.” The doctor beckoned for us to follow.

                                                            ***

I watched, leg bouncing up and down as Dr. Lee helped Beverly with her wound.

“Wait, you said Jake helped him? Your son Jake?”

Beverly nodded. “They beat me. Tied me up.”

“I…” The secretary, Pam, sighed. “I don’t believe it.”

“Pam.” Dr. Lee warned. “Beverly… do you have any idea why they would act this way? Any history of chemical dependency?”

“No, of course not!” Beverly shook her head. “I don’t know why! One minute they were my husband and son.” She sniffled. “And the next, they had the devil in them.”

My eyes widened and I looked up at Dean. He shot the same look back before nodding at Sam, then jerking his head to the side over his shoulder.

“Those guys were absolutely fucked.” Dean whispered.

“What do you think? Multiple demons? Mass possession?”

“If it is a possession, there could be more. I mean, fuck knows how many. Could be like a fucking Shriner convention.”

“Great.” I sighed.

“Of course, that’s one way to wipe out a town. Take it from the inside.”

“I don’t know, man. We didn’t see any demon smoke, or any of our other usual cues.”

“Well, whatever.” Dean scowled.

“Something turned him into a monster, Sams.”

“And you know, if you would’ve let Olive take care of the other one, there’d be one less to worry about.”

“I’m sorry, alright! Dean, it was a kid!”

“No, it was an it. Not the best time for a bleeding heart, Sammy.” Dean scoffed.

Dr. Lee came out of the room, heels clicking loudly. The three of us whipped around, clearing out throats.

“How’s the patient?”

“Terrible!” Dr. Lee sighed. “What the hell happened out there?”

“We don’t know.” Dean told the truth.

“Yeah? Well, you just killed my next door neighbor.”

“We didn’t have a choice.”

“Maybe so… but we need the county Sheriff. I need the coroner.”

“Phones are down.” I shook my head.

“I know, I tried. Tell me you have a police radio in the car?”

“We do. But it’s fried, just like everything else.”

Dr. Lee sighed. “I don’t understand what’s happening.”

“How far is it the next town?” Dean looked up, thinking.

“It’s about forty miles down to Sidewinder.”

Dean nodded. “Alright. We’ll go down there, see if we can find some help.” He looked down at me, then clapped Sam’s shoulder. “Sam here’ll stick around, keep you guys safe.”

“Safe from what?” Dr. Lee squinted.

“We’ll get back to you on that.”

                                                            ***

“What the fuck?” I mumbled as Dean stopped the car.

The Oregon plates on the totalled car read WTF 4C7. We shared a look, and I huffed. He tucked his gun into his waistband, and I did the same. We got out of the car and gave each other another look.

Watch each other’s backs.

He took the lead as we stalked toward the SUV. The windows were smashed. I flinched as we circled the car. The seats were covered in blood, and the baby seat in the back was drenched. I shuddered and looked over to the other side of the car. Dean was nowhere to be seen.

My gun immediately went back up and I bared my fangs, letting the stream of blood fall down my chin. I slowly made my way around the front of the car, hands shaking.

“Shit.”

I huffed as I recognized Dean’s voice. I swung around to face the driver’s door. Dean eyed me from his spot on the ground, a bloody bowie knife in his hand. I let my gun go slack as I sighed, and he stood, dropping the gun.

“Did you see all that blood?” I asked, shivering.

“Yeah. Something’s wrong. Let’s go.”

                                                            ***

“Oh, son of a bitch.” Dean groaned as he pumped the brakes.

I sighed as he stopped the car. The bridge out of town was blocked by trucks and SUVs, and there were six or seven guys with rifles circling around. Dean looked over at me, and there was a thump on the roof of the car. Dean jumped, and I snarled. Dean’s hand slapped over my mouth as a man leaned in through Dean’s window.

“Oh, hey, hi.” Dean stuttered.

“Sorry. Road’s closed.”

“Yeah, we can see that.” I spat, shoving Dean’s hand away.

He shot me a glare and turned back with a smile. “What’s up?”

“Quarantine.” The man eyed me.

“Quarantine? What is it?”

“Don’t know. Something’s going around out there.” The man kept his eyes on me.

“Uh huh.” Dean shifted, blocking me from his view. “Who told you that?”

“County Sheriff.”

“Is he here?” Dean asked.

“No. He called.” The man looked around Dean, eyes locking back on me.

I grabbed a fistful of Dean’s jacket. The sheriff couldn’t have called. The phones were still down.

“Say, why don’t you get out of the car and we’ll talk a little?”

Dean chuckled, nervous. “Well, you are a handsome devil, but I’m on the clock here.”

“I’d sure appreciate it if you got out of the car. Just for a quick minute.”

“Yeah.” Dean’s arms tightened on the wheel, and I reached for the gear knob. “I’ll bet you would.”

I pulled it into reverse and Dean swung the car around. The man reached in and grabbed Dean by the collar before we could take off. The men at the roadblock began to shoot, and Dean gunned it, swerving the car and shaking the man off. I panted as we drove off.

                                                            ***

“What the fuck is going on?” I hissed.

“I don’t know, pumpkin.” Dean sighed. “Can you control yourself right now?”

I sighed. “Barely. If I get spooked one more time I might snap.”

“I’m right here. Okay?”

I nodded as he gave me a soft smile. I glanced back at the road and yelped.

“Dean, stop!”

Dean slammed the brakes as Mark stepped into the middle of the road, rifle aimed at us.

“Hands where I can see them!”

“Son of a-”

“Get out of the car!” Mark screamed. “Out!”

I kept my mouth shut, but I couldn’t help the low growl that was beginning to rumble in my throat. Dean eyed me as he pushed his door open.

“Okay. It’s okay. We’re okay. Easy there, big guy.”

Mark’s eyes flickered to me, and that was all Dean needed to whip out his gun. “Alright, put it down!”

“Lower it now!” Mark shouted back.

“Put it down!”

“Are you one of them?” Mark stalked closer.

“No! Are you?” Dean inched closer to me.

“No!”

“He could be lying, Dean.”

“So could you!”

“Alright!” Dean huffed. “Alright. We could do this all day, alright? Let’s just… let’s take it easy before we try to kill each other.”

Mark sighed and lowered his gun. Dean did the same, and I shuffled into his side, swallowing the blood in my mouth.

“What’s going on with everybody?”

Dean shook his head. “We don’t know.”

“My neighbor… Mr. Rogers, he-”

I snorted, and Dean blinked. “You’ve got a neighbor named Mr. Rogers?”

“Not anymore.”

Dean and I shared a look, and I held back a laugh.

“He came at me with a hatchet. I put him down. He’s not the only one. It’s happening to everyone.”

Dean nodded. “Look, we’re heading out to the doc’s place. There’s still some people left.”

“No. No way. I’m getting the hell out.”

“There’s no way out.” I snorted. “They’ve got the bridge covered.”

“I don’t believe you.”

Dean shrugged. “Fine. Stay here. Be our guest.”

Mark eyed us and sighed. He put his rifle down and pulled a handgun out, warily pointing it at Dean. I took Dean’s from his hand and pointed it at Mark as we shuffled toward the car.

“Get in the back.” I motioned with the gun.

He slid into the back, the gun still pointed at Dean. I sat sideways in the passenger seat and kept Dean’s gun trained on his head.

“Well…” Dean huffed as he shut the door and started the car. This oughta be a relaxing drive.”

                                                            ***

I was stuck to Dean’s side, gun still on Mark. He kept his on Dean, and I was growing increasingly angrier.

“Sammy!” Dean pounded on the door. “Open up!”

The door swung open, and I heard Sam stumble for words. “Did you guys, uh… get to a phone?”

“Road’s blocked.” I didn’t turn to him.

“We’re gonna have a word. Doc’s inside.” Dean spoke to Mark, pulling me along with him as we shuffled into the building.

Mark put his gun down and continued down the hall, and the boys and I stayed by the door. Dean tugged his gun from my grip, and Sam nudged me.

“What’s going on out there?”

“We don’t know. I mean, I feel like Chuck Heston in the Omega Man. Sarge is the only sane person we could find, and Olive keeps bugging out.”

“I can’t stop it. Something’s putting me on edge and I can’t control it.”

“Sammy, what are we even dealing with?” I wrapped my arms around myself.

“Doc thinks it’s a virus.” Sam tugged his jacket off and draped it over my shoulders.

“Okay, great. What do you think?”

“I think she’s right.” Sam sighed.

“Really?”

“Yeah.” Sam nodded. “And I think the people infected are trying to infect others.”

“How?”

“Blood-to-blood contact. And get this. The virus? It leaves traces of sulfur in the blood.”

“A fucking demonic virus?”

“Yep. It’s like demonic germ warfare. At least it explains why I’ve been having visions. Probably why Ollie’s on edge, too.”

“It’s like a Biblical fucking plague.” Dean grumbled.

“You have no clue how right you are. I’ve been poring through Dad’s journal, found something about the Roanoke colony.”

“What?” I looked up.

“Dad thought Croatoan was a demon’s name. Sometimes known as Deva or Resheph.”

I sighed. “Resheph was the Egyptian personification of the fucking plague.”

“Well, that’s fucking terrific.” Dean grumbled again. “Why here? Why now?”

“I have no idea. But guys, who knows how far this thing can spread? We’ve gotta get the hell out of here. We’ve gotta warn people.”

Dean sighed, a weary look on his face. I huffed.

“He’s right, Dean. We have to let Bobby know. E-Ellen, Jo. Any other hunter. This is big. We can’t stop it alone.”

“They’ve got one! In here!”

The three of us jumped before scrambling into the next room. Mark was pointing at Beverly through the window. Dean squinted.

“What are you talking about?”

“The wife. She’s infected.”

“We’ve gotta take care of this.” Mark sighed. “We can’t just leave her in there. My neighbors, they were strong. The longer we wait, the stronger she’ll get.”

Dean only paused for a second before pulling his gun and stalking into the lab. Sam and I scrambled to follow with eyes bulging out of our heads.

“What do you mean you’re gonna kill Beverly Tanner?”

“Wait, hold on.” I blurted as we walked in. “Could there be any kind of treatment, Doc? Maybe some kind of cure for this?”

“Can you cure it?” Dean repeated.

“I don’t even know what it is.”

“I told you, it’s just a matter of time before she breaks through.”

“Just leave her in there. You can’t shoot her like an animal!” Pam cried.

“Sam. Olive.” Dean called for us as we walked over to the door of the utility room.

Dean and I pulled our guns out, and Mark shakily did the same. Sam carefully opened the door, only to reveal Beverly on the floor, knees drawn to her chest. She jumped at the sight of us and began to sob.

“Mark, what are you doing? Mark, it-it’s them! They locked me in here! They tried to kill me! They’re infected, not me! Please, Mark! You’ve known me all your life! Please!”

“Are you sure she’s one of them?” I whispered.

Sam nodded, baby face twisted in pure distress. Mark let his arm go slack as he took a step back. Dean sighed, and I shook my head. I clenched my jaw and fired twice.

                                                            ***

Mark peered through the shades. I finished sharpening Sam’s knife before handing it back to him. Dean was loading his gun. Jinx was curled at our feet, whining. A vial shattered, and there was a scream.

“Oh god! Is there any on me? Am I okay?”

“You’re clean, you’re okay.” Dr. Lee reassured her.

“Why are we staying here?” Pam squealed. “Please, let’s just go!”

“We can’t, because those things are everywhere.”

Pam slumped down to the floor with a whine, and Dr. Lee knelt beside her.

“She’s right about one thing.” Sam whispered. “We can’t stay here. We’ve gotta get out of here. Roadhouse, maybe?” He shook his head. “Somewhere. We have to let people know what’s coming.”

“Yeah, good point.” Dean sighed. “Night of the Living Dead didn’t exactly end pretty.”

“Well, I’m not sure we’ve got a choice.” Mark huffed. “Lots of folks up here are good with rifles. Even with all your hardware, we’re easy targets. So unless you’ve got some explosives…”

Sam sighed, and his eyes widened as he realized something. I looked up at him and followed his line of sight. Dean looked at us, confused.

“We could make some.”

“Yeah.” Sam started for the high shelf and went for the bottles of Potassium Chloride.

Someone started to pound on the door, and the three of us scrambled back just as Mark swung the door open.

“It’s Duane Tanner!”

Duane limped in, backpack swung over his shoulder. “Thank God.”

“Duane, are you okay?”

Dean and I turned to Sam.

“Is that… the guy that… Dean…” I slowly slashed a hand across my throat as Dean let out a whistle.

“Yeah.”

“Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy, there, chief.” Dean grabbed Duane’s arm. “Hey, Doc! Come give Duane a good once-over, would you?”

“Pam?” Dr. Lee called as she led us into the examination room.

“Who are you?” Duane fussed against Dean’s arm.

“Never mind who I am.” He shoved him into the room. “Doc?”

“Yeah, okay.” She eased.

“Duane. Where’ve you been?” Mark questioned.

“I was on a fishing trip up by Roslyn. I came back this afternoon. I… I saw Roger McGill being dragged out of his house. By people we know! They started cutting him with knives! I ran! I’ve been hiding in the woods ever since… has anybody seen my mom or dad?”

Dean swallowed and turned to us. “Awkward…”

Duane sat on a stool, and Dr. Lee groaned.

“You’re bleeding.”

Dean took a step forward. “Where’d you get that?”

“I was running, I must’ve tripped.”

Dean didn’t miss a beat. “Tie him up, there’s rope in there.”

“Wait!” Duane got to his feet.

Dean, without hesitation, pulled his gun. “Sit down!”

“I’m sorry, Duane.” Mark untangled the ropes. “He’s right. We’ve gotta be careful.”

“Careful? About what?”

“Did they bleed on you?” I squinted, feeling uneasy.

“No! What the hell? No!”

“Doc, is there any way to know for sure? Any test?”

Dr. Lee sighed. “I’ve studied Beverly’s blood-work backwards and forwards.”

“My mom!” Duane sat up.

“It took three hours for the virus to incubate. The sulfur didn’t appear in the blood until then, so… no. No, there’d be no way of knowing. Not until after Duane turns.”

“Guys, I’ve gotta talk to you. Now.” Sam pulled on our sleeves.

Dean and Mark shared a look before Sam dragged us out.

“What’s going on, Sams?”

“This is my vision. It’s happening.”

“Yeah.” Dean huffed. “I figured.”

“Okay, well, what do we do so that it doesn’t turn out the way it did?”

“We can’t kill him. We don’t know if he’s infected or not.”

“Well, I think we’re pretty damn sure, Sam. Guy shows up out of nowhere, he’s got a cut on his leg, his whole family’s infected?”

Sam sighed. “Alright, then we should keep him tied up, we should wait and see.”

“For what? For him to Hulk out and infect somebody else? No thanks, can't take that chance.” Dean started to push past Sam, but Sam slammed a hand onto his chest and stopped him.

“Hey, look, man. I’m not happy about this, okay? But it’s a tough job and you know that.”

“It’s supposed to be tough, Dean. we’re supposed to struggle with this. That’s the whole point.”

“And what does that buy us, Sam?”

“A clear conscience, for one!”

“Well, it’s too late for that.”

Sam and I shared a look, both sighing. Sam stopped Dean again. “What the hell happened to you?”

“What?” Dean spat back.

“You might kill an innocent man, and you don't even care! You don't act like yourself anymore, Dean. Hell, you know what? You're acting like one of those things out there.”

“Dean, I thought we were past this.” I whispered.

Dean only nodded. He moved again, and Sam reached out to stop him a third time. Dean pushed him into the wall, hard. I snarled and ran after Dean, but he shoved me back into the room and locked the door.

“Dean!”

“Hey!” Sam was now at my side, pushing at the door. “Open the door, Dean! Don’t do it! Dean!”

“Dean, don’t!”

There was a long silence, and Sam and I stared at each other, horrified. Dean wasn’t himself. He seemed more like Dad every day, and the influence of Gordon was still lingering.

The door unlocked, and Sam and I both jumped to push it open. We stumbled out into the hallway. Dean caught me as I tripped. I looked up to see his face clean of blood.

“Did you-”

“No.”

                                                            ***

Jinx yawned, and I did the same. Sam shoved another rag into a bottle, and Dean handed me the one he had just finished. I tucked it aside with the others and sighed. The door opened, and Dr. Lee strode in, hands in her pockets.

“It’s been over four hours. Duane’s blood is still clean. I don’t think he’s infected. I’d like to untie him, if that’s alright.”

Dean glanced up at us, then looked back down, lowering his head. Sam and I sighed, and Sam nodded.

“Sure.”

She nodded and shut the door behind her. Sam shifted in his seat, looking over at Dean.

“You know I’m gonna ask you why.”

“Yeah. I know.” Dean huffed.

“So why? Why didn’t you do it?”

There was a long beat, and Dean tossed a rag aside. “We need more alcohol.”

Sam huffed and got up, leaving. Jinx whined, but she stayed in her spot. I yawned again, and Dean crossed his arms over his chest. I sat in Sam’s empty seat and leaned forward.

“Why didn’t you do it?”

Dean looked away.

“De.”

“I don’t wanna be Dad.”

A wave of relief washed over me and I sighed. There was a crash from the next room over. Dean and I both shot up, sharing a look.

“Sam.”

We each pulled out our guns and ran to the door, met by Mark, who also had a gun in his hand. I tried the handle, but it was locked. I nodded at Dean, who reared back before kicking it open. Pam was straddling Sam, hand to his chest. Dean fired three times, and Pam fell to the floor, dead.

“Sams, oh my god.” I tucked my gun into my waistband.

“No!” Mark grabbed me by the upper arm and yanked me back.

A snarl ripped past my lips and I bared my fangs at him. Mark jumped away, and I knelt next to Sam, reaching for his hand.

“She bled on him. He’s got the virus.”

Sam pulled his hand away from me, eyes wide. My eyes began to fill with tears as I looked down at his bloodied chest. I looked over my shoulder at Dean.

“What do we do?”

                                                            ***

Sam was sitting on the exam table, a bandage taped to his chest. His head was down, and he was near tears. The others were crowded in the room, and Dean was pacing. I sniffled, arms crossed over my chest.

“Doc, check his wound again, would you?”

There was a long pause, and Dean’s head snapped up, fire in his eyes.

“Doctor!”

Mark scowled. “What’s she need to examine him for? You saw what happened.”

Dr. Lee sighed. “Did her blood actually enter your wound?”

“Come on, of course it did!” Mark spat.

“We don’t know that for sure.” Dean tried to reason.

“We can’t take a chance.”

“Doc, just… check again. Please.” I begged.

“You know what we have to do.” Mark crossed his arms over his chest.

“Nobody is shooting our brother.” Dean snarled.

“He isn’t gonna be your brother much longer. You said it yourself.” Duane snapped.

“Nobody is shooting anyone!”

“You were gonna shoot me!”

“You don’t shut your damn mouth, I might!” I snarled.

“Guys…” Sam spoke up. “They’re right. I’m infected… just give me the gun and I’ll do it myself.”

“Forget it.” Dean scoffed.

“Dean, I’m not gonna become one of those things.”

“Sams, we still have time.” I whined.

“Time for what? Look, I understand he’s your brother, and I’m sorry, I am. But we gotta take care of this.” Mark pulled out his handgun.

I bared my fangs, growling. Mark stuck his gun against my forehead.

“What the hell are you?”

“Something that can kill you, no doubt.” I hissed.

Dean eased a hand onto my shoulder and tugged me away. Mark’s gun went down, and Dean got in his face.

“I’m gonna say this one time.” Dean spoke slowly. “You make a move on either of them, you’ll be dead before you hit the ground.”

Mark said nothing.

“You understand me?”

Still, nothing.

“Do I make myself clear!”

“Then what are we supposed to do?”

There was a long pause, and Dean and I shared a look. I nodded, and Dean fished his keys from his pocket. He tossed them to Mark.

“Get the hell out of here, that’s what. Take my car. You’ve got the explosives. There’s an arsenal in the back. You’ve got enough firepower to handle anything now.” Dean eyed me. “Take the rest of them.

“What?” I gasped as Dean pushed me toward Mark.

“Well, what about you?” Mark eyed Dean.

There was a beat, and Sam shook his head. “Dean, no. No! Go with them. This is your only chance!”

Dean shook his head right back. “You’re not gonna get rid of me that easy.”

“No, he’s right.” Mark tried to reason with Dean. “Come with us.”

Dean shook his head. Mark held a hand out for me, and I flinched. I looked at the boys, who both nodded at me. I handed Mark Jinx’s leash with tears in my eyes.

“Take her. Please.”

Mark squinted, and the boys began to protest.

“Go.” I pointed at the door.

Mark shrugged. “Fine. Your funeral.” He led Duane and Dr. Lee toward the door.

“I’m sorry.” Dr. Lee whispered. “Thanks for everything, Marshals.”

Dean snorted. “Oh, uh… actually, we’re not… really Marshals.”

“Oh…” She hesitated before leaving with Mark and Duane.

I hoisted myself onto the exam table as Dean shut the door. Sam began to cry, looking from me to Dean. I leaned my head against his arm, grabbing his hand in mine.

Dean smiled softly. “Wish we had a deck of cards. Or a foosball table or something.”

“Guys.” Sam whimpered. “Don’t do this. Just get the hell out of here.”

Dean shook his head. “No way.”

“Give me my gun, and leave.”

“For the last time, Sams, no.” I hissed.

Sam shrugged me off and stood up, slamming his hands on the table. I jumped, and Dean’s face hardened. Sam sighed, realizing that he scared us both.

“This is the dumbest thing you two have ever done.”

Dean shrugged. “Oh, I don’t know about that. Remember that waitress in Tampa?” He shuddered.

“Ew.” My nose scrunched up.

Sam sighed. “Dean… Olive… I’m sick. It’s over for me. It doesn’t have to be for you.”

“No?”

“No. You guys can keep going. You have before.”

“I don’t want to.” Dean whispered.

I shook my head. “Not without you, bubs.”

“What?”

Dean pulled his gun from his waistband and settled onto the file cabinet, across the room from us. Sam sat back down on the exam table.

“I’m tired, Sam. I’m tired of this job, this life… this… this weight on my shoulders, man. I’m tired of it.”

“So what? You’re just gonna give up? You two? Just lay down and die? Look guys, I know this stuff with Dad has-”

“You’re wrong.” Dean cut him off. “It’s not about Dad. I mean… part of it is, sure. But…”

“Then what is it about?” Sam whispered.

There was a bustle outside the door, and the boys and I looked up. I bared my fangs with a low growl. Dean and I both held our guns up, and Dean quickly opened the door.

“You’d better come see this.” Dr. Lee stood in the hall.

                                                            ***

I huddled into Dean’s side, a low feeling in the pit of my stomach as we looked around. There was nothing. Nobody, no noise.

“They’ve all just… vanished.”

                                                            ***

Sam shifted on the exam table.

Dr. Lee looked up from the microscope. “Well, it’s been five hours and your blood’s still clean.”

Dean and I sighed in relief.

“I don’t understand it, but I think you dodged a bullet.”

“But I was exposed. How could I not be infected?”

“I don’t know.” Dr. Lee shook her head. “But you’re just not.”

I ran at Sam, pulling him into a hug. He wrapped his arms around me with a sigh. Dr. Lee grumbled under her breath before letting out a curse.

“What happened?” Dean perked up.

“Their blood.” Dr. Lee looked confused. “The Tanner samples. There’s no trace of the virus. No sulfur. Nothing.”

The boys and I shared a look.

                                                           ***

Dr. Lee spoke to Duane and Mark, who were loading up a truck. She shook her head before coming over to us. Mark waved, and the three of us held a hand up.

“What about him?” Dean asked Dr. Lee as she sighed.

“He’s going to be fine. No signs of infection.”

I hummed, and Dean nodded. Sam chewed at his lip, eyebrows furrowed. Mark and Duane got into the truck and pulled away. Dean looked up at Sam, who put his hands up.

“Hey, don’t look at me. I got no clue.”

“I swear, I’m gonna lose sleep over this one. I mean… why here? Why now? And there the fuck did they all go? It’s like they just melted.”

“And why was I immune?”

Dean blew a raspberry. “Yeah, you know what? That’s a good question.”

I shrugged. “I’m already starting to feel like this is the one that got away.”

                                                           ***

“So…” Sam takes a swig of his beer and looks down at the river. “Last night. Wanna tell me what the hell you were talking about?”

“What do you mean?” Dean squints.

Olive looks between the boys. Sam gives her a soft smile. She leans into his side and closes her eyes.

“You said you were tired of the job, Dean. And that it wasn’t just because of Dad.”

Dean huffs. “Forget it.”

“No. No, I can’t.” Sam shakes his head. “No way.”

“Come on, man.” Dean scowls. “I thought we were all gonna die. You can’t hold that over me.”

“No, no, no, no. You can't pull that crap with me, man. You're talking.” Sam crosses his arms over his chest.

“And what if I don't?”

“Then I guess I'll just have to keep asking until you do.” Sam challenges.

Dean sighs again, looking out over the water. “I don't know, man. I just think maybe we ought to… go to the Grand Canyon.”

“What?”

“You know, all this driving back and forth across the country, we’ve never been to the Grand Canyon. Or maybe we could go to T.J. Or Hollywood. See if we can bang Lindsey Lohan.”

Olive’s nose scrunches up, and she looks up at Sam, who is equally confused.

“Dean…”

“You’re not making any sense.”

“I just think we should take a break from all this. Why do we gotta get stuck with all the responsibility, you know? Why can't we live life a little bit?”

“Why are you saying all this?” A concerned look drapes itself over Sam’s face.

Dean shakes his head and looks the other way.

“No, no, no. Dean.” Sam tries.

“Dean, we’re a family.” Olive places a hand on his shoulder. “We carry each other’s burdens, remember?”

“I can’t. I promised.” Dean whispers.

“Promised who, Dean?” Sam inches closer to his siblings.

“Dad.” Dean’s voice is weak.

“Dean, what are you talking about?” Olive squints.

Dean looks down, then up, tears in his eyes. “Right before Dad died, he told me something.” He takes a deep breath and looks up at Sam. “He told me something about you.”

Sam’s eyes grow wide. “What?”

Olive feels the tension, as does Jinx, who whines from her spot on the ground.

“Dean, what did Dad tell you?”

Previous Ep: Crossroad Blues (2.08)

Next Ep: Hunted (2.10)

taglist:

@i67​

[neonnhoney-rec]

Min Yoongi

Here are a few yoongi recs, most of them I've read and love, some are in my TBR. Tbh most of them are smut, but some are fluff and angst mostly angst. I will keep updating this woop woop.

I hope you enjoy tehee!

revenge- @lustfuldevils

fuck boy yoongs

request: yoongi teaches you to give a bj- @kpurereactions

says it on the tin

Theres no need to be nervous around Yoongi, he’ll take care of you and make you feel good no matter what it is you’re doing.

sangria- @minstrivia

a day at the beach has yoongi hornier than he’d like to admit.

missing link- @drquinzelharleen

You catch Yoongi playing with himself before a night out and some part of you wants to join him. That’s crazy though, he’s your best friend… Right?

talk- @httpjeon​

you walk in on yoongi on the phone with a customer

act on it- @dom-joonie

You learn that the cute barista you’ve been crushing on might have an…otherworldly disposition after you accidentally cut yourself.

too sweet- @justoneday-namjoonii

you smell so sweet to them the best they’ve ever had (vampire au)

moving to a university with a few secrets, has you falling for these boys who need your help

too hot to sleep- @gamerguk

“ Umm can’t wait to get rawed in our kitchen when I’m living with the love of my life ” 

can you turn off your phone- @btssavemylifeblr

Yoongi’s alarm clock wakes you up at 6 am on a Sunday and you are not happy about it.  At least, not at first…

grey area- @blushoseoks

and just like that, your fate was sealed - because min yoongi was absolutely going to destroy you. but hell if you weren’t going to let him, or bask happily in the flames as he did so. 

and sadly, at the time, you didn’t think that your thoughts would become so literal.

dancing with the devil- @minnpd​

suga daddy suga

asphodel- @hayjeon

A series of drabbles and moments surrounding Hades, the god of death and Persephone, the goddess of nature

lifeguard yoongi- @gukgalore

who knew making eyes at a hot lifeguard would get you what you really wanted.

yoongi cums in his pants- @hobiorbit

dry humping yoongi till cums in his pants cause its hot

boy .girl- @floralseokjin

Boy. Girl. It’s as simple as that. Girl can’t get a good date—scrap that—girl can’t get a good lay, and boy is willing to help out with that… Friends with benefits seems the perfect solution, except for the fact, it’s not. It never is. Not when boy already has feelings for girl…

Evil- @littlemisskookie

Your life is pretty boring, apart from being the Alpha of your pack. But it gets a bit more exciting when you discover Yoongi wants to spend his heat with none other than you.

Bet i can make you cum without touching your cock- @cyphertrip

says it on the tin

boseong breakfast- @honeymoonjin

it may be misfortune that brings you to min yoongi’s door looking for a place to stay, but luckily holly lodge has a vacancy.

Love is for birds baby- @mininky

You refuse to believe in love. It’s a concept created by big corporations like hallmark to get sad saps like you to buy their shit. But it’s all fake. You’re convinced of that at least until a series of events with a certain tattoo artist who you loved to hate makes you question everything you’ve ever known.

Hands- @moonlightchildz

hand fetish? is that a thing?

Producer!yoongi- @matchakoo

where yoongi’s song plays over a really serene and domestic smut scene 

Please be naked- @floralseokjin 

ou find it’s easy to become addicted to a distraction…

Lonely hearts club-  @joonbird

 “In this world, currency is not money but life, and those who cannot repay their debts have no choice but to submit for the Separation - a procedure in which the soul and mind are extracted from their bodies, leaving behind nothing but an empty shell. Jeon Jungkook is an underground tattoo artist hiding from the outside world. She has been waiting her whole life to be Separated. They were never supposed to meet - let alone fall in love.”

- or -

“Two lonely hearts collide.”

Rose garden dreams- @glossgf

you, a princess not yet betrothed, and your knight, Yoongi, have fallen in love. But what happens when a prince asks for your hand in marriage? What will you and Yoongi do then…?

single parent au- @yukheii​

your daughter is very fond of yoongi

Us, plus two- @deathbyyoongi

You and Yoongi sharing a moment, relishing in the glow of your growing family when your daughter has a nightmare, and Yoongi has to take care of those pesky monsters.

When the power goes out- @inkjam-moon

When a storm causes the electricity to go out, it becomes to dark in the apartment to study, so you and Yoongi have to find another way to pass the time.

Conveniently- @baeseoul

you live above a convenience store with your daughter, owned by a rather attractive yoongi. this is the story of how u and your daughter gained another member to your little family.

Destruction of a muse- @baeseoul

you’re in your last year of uni doing literature and lose your motivation, and it’s not till you meet a talented musician you get your ambition back. a. lot. of. angust.

Long distance-  @miss-noo-na

Yoongi misses the sound of your voice.

Conjecture-  @writingsofmyimagination​

Your management refused to renew your contract unless you collaborated, so you ending up working with Min Yoongi. A guy you’d disliked from before both of your debuts. There is more to their past than meets the eye.

Photoshoot tease- @shooting-stars-library

“Min Yoongi is a sexy little shit and he knows it.”

What if-  @blameblamebts

Being in a gang wasn’t a good thing, and it never would be, always looked down upon. But it isn’t what people think it to be. It’s worse. Much worse.

Aawake at night- @softyoongiionly​

You can’t sleep. Luckily, your boyfriend can’t either. 

Clair de lune- @yoonia

You were ready to leave a part of your life to move on to the next, and he is willing to give you a chance to end it glamorously. But at what cost? And will he be a part of the life you are leaving behind or will he be there for the next part of it? 

Reflections- @yoonia

“How could I ever forget about you" parent au

Faded- @yoonia

You were his soulmate, that part he knew well. Until one day he didn’t want you anymore. He couldn’t, when all he could see from you was light and all he felt within himself was darkness. Your love has gone cold as he retreated from you, burying himself deep in the dark. But what happened when Yoongi had to watch you start over with somebody else, when Yoongi let his selfishness gain control on him of you.

Monday- @strwberrytae

It’s that special time a month that brings you great pain yet great joy. Sure, there’s cramps and absolute uncomfort but your little monthly friend makes you insanely horny. Needy and desperate for a release that only your boyfriend can provide, will he cave and give you what you want?

Makeshift chemistry- @jungblue

Fleeting lust was all you’d ever known, nothing serious or long lasting, just a temporary fix to satisfy your needs. That is until you meet Min Yoongi who is determined to put an end to your binge of makeshift relationships.

What you did last summer- @winetae

Yoongi was fine with a lot of things—you maxing out his credit cards to buy ridiculously expensive items of clothing that you never wore more than once, you taking out his newest ride for a spin without permission, you spending an extra thirty minutes on your hair and makeup when he was running late for a dinner function. 

What he was not okay with, however, was you sharing your pussy with barely-out-of-college boys who were incapable of going five seconds without creaming their pants.

No, that was where he drew the line.

Bad boys bring it to you- @yuengi​

tattoo artist yoongi

Fortuna- @readyplayerhobi

300 years ago, half the world’s population died when the experimental Fortuna virus escaped. The remaining male population has been rendered infertile with one loophole that has meant polyamorous relationships have become the norm.

Crescendo- @dreamyjoons

after hours of waiting for the grumpy pianist to leave the stage, you finally have it out with him in a way better than you could have imagined. 

Restraint-  @writingsofmyimagination​

As Jungkook’s best friend recently moved to Seoul, there is one of the boys you have yet to meet. This one has a dark secret and has to use all the restraint he can to control himself around you.

Curious- @honeymoonjin

Taehyung confides in you and your boyfriend Yoongi that he might be bi, and the two of you offer to let him experiment with you to find out. 

Gingham- @ropeseok​

There’s no place like home! At least, that’s how Yoongi felt after a long night of taking the little one trick-or-treating. He can’t wait to take his costume off - however, he seems to insist that you keep yours on.​

Somebody else- @jamaisjoons

yoongi doesn’t want you anymore. but he can’t stand watching you with someone else. post break up au.

Do you love me-  @caribbeanempressblog

Yoongi is bad at feelings

Love well done- @oraclemarie

You are the executive chef of your very own fine dining restaurant. A big company makes you the offer of a lifetime, setting you on a path straight to Min Yoongi-your drunken hook up. 

Pepero day- @kittae

Valentine’s with your best friend, yoongi

The last- @kittae

When the world’s gone to shit and you’ve taught yourself to stay alive while danger lurks around every corner, the last thing you need is another mouth to feed and extra “dead” weight. Yet you can’t bring yourself to leave another human being behind, and it might as well have been your worst decision ever… or was it the best?

Baby’s fist christmas- @hobisbeautifulass​

3 months after you give birth to your first child, you and your husband start putting together the perfect first Christmas for your new family of three.

This is just to say  – @btsiguess

To say it’s unusual to have a soulmate is an understatement, and most people desperately wish to have an elegant name scrawled upon their wrist. In reality though, you’d have to say it causes much more issues than it solves.

I like you – @iq-biased

A surprise visit from a friend leaves Yoongi with a night to remember, and something to say

Small things- @floralseokjin

you and vamp yoongi have an argument

Daddy diaries- @bts-reveries

yoongi started blogging his life on his social medias to prove everyone who thought he couldn’t raise a child alone wrong. but as his daughter’s birthday draws near, what happens when she wishes for a new mom?

Drink me- @njssi​

Your vampire boyfriend refuses to bite you in fear of not being able to stop himself. But you always get what you want.

Rule of thirst- @prolixitae

vampires were just folklore until yoongi became one. now he’s got only two emotions: you and hunger. and tonight, you let him feed off you.

A ticket to the sun- @seokeros​ (ao3)

In a world where a person's life is determined by a piece of paper on a monthly basis, love is practically impossible. But there's always an exception, and with that exception, there comes a price.

Alt: yoongo gets punched in the face by a girl who believes she is cursed, and he stupidly, helplessly, falls in love.

Wildest moments- @joonbird

“Min Yoongi is forbidden territory. And although you both know better, the two of you just can’t seem to stay apart.”

Breakfast in bed- @joonbird

“Min Yoongi, a grumpy Ikea employee, is wondering who you are and why exactly you’re sleeping in the display bed at his Ikea.”

Hyung, open the door- @gotmetalkinginmysleep

You’ve been keeping the boys awake with your moaning for months thanks to Yoongi. Tae and Jungkook want to find out why.

The singularity theory- @dovechim

in your last year of undergrad, you find out what a gloryhole is at the expense of your final year thesis. it’s a classic example of a psychology experiment that went way, way wrong. 

You look like you need a drink- @dark-muse-iris

After a bad week with the worst luck imaginable, you happen upon a local dive bar run by an attractive young bartender who livens up your evening.

The married life- @jungnoir

being married is never a bore when your husband is a vampire king + inspired by  “Stop calling me Princess!” “I apologize, my Queen.”.

Taxi- @honeyedhoseok

 ❛  Drinks at a bar + a rainy night + a single taxi to share with the bane of your existence, Min Yoongi = one interesting car ride back to your apartment.  ❜ 

First love- @writing-in-ivory

You first saw him in the multi-purpose room. Later learn his name, and on your third year, as he becomes your neighbor, you discover his lifestyle. Knowing your crush on him was nothing but that, you wanted to find the courage to look for love. Asking your friend for help, you’re pointed in the direction of the expert. Your neighbor, Min Yoongi. 

pugna- @jungwoohoos

he showed up at your doorstep one day, covered in cuts and testing your patience. you don’t know why, but you felt compelled to help him. you just don’t realize how deep that runs

Mean yoongi- @jjkpls

Min Yoongi asks you to take care of his plants when he’s gone. It doesn’t go as planned and well, he has to deal with your misbehaving ass.

Sour skittles- @softyoongiionly

WELCOME TO GLASSCLAW! The only city where you can get a homecooked meal and a hitman all on the same street! You moved to GlassClaw for a fresh start after a group of raiders invaded your previous compound. Unbeknownst to you, the city has its own collection of riff raff and, at the head of it all is your neighbor Min Yoongi. The mischevious merchant with one hell of a sailor mouth is known for swindling the rich and, serving the poor. The world has become convoluted and chaotic since the apocalypse but, two things were certain: You were so much more than pretty face and, Yoongi was so much more than just a thief.

Life’s little joys-  @littlemeowmeowschimmy

getting pregers with yoongi

Fear and dumplings-  @softyoongiionly

You’re in your final semester at University when your Abnormal Psychology professor assigns you a partnered project surrounding your greatest fears. Lucky for you, your partner just so happens to be a cute boy named Min Yoongi.

Min yoongi, library services- @kpopfanfictrash

When you accept the the offered research position at Bangtan University, you are well aware of your partner’s prestige. The only problem is - so is he.

Behind the stick-  @randombtsprincessa

Your bartender for the night and you take an interest in one another.

Mic drop- @ve1vetyoongi

when underground rapper min yoongi uncovers the dirty secret behind his biggest rival, your brother and hip hop champion kim namjoon’s success, he is determined to take home this year’s mic drop contest trophy no matter who he hurts along the way. you’re behind the camera, content with capturing namjoon’s picture perfect persona from the sidelines but when his hard-faced enemy Gloss, makes you realise you could be more than just the point and shoot, you start to feel your loyalties shifting.

Pinewood and poetry- @spicykoreantatertots

After getting closer to and developing a crush on your friend over the summer, you want nothing more than to cozy up to him as the seasons start to change. That is until your ex-boyfriend, Jung Hoseok, returns from his summer study abroad program. Will Hoseok stand in the way of your budding romance with your mutual friend, Min Yoongi?

His hands- @nahfamily

You hadn’t ever paid much attention to Min Yoongi until a stupid icebreaker at your office. Now, you can’t get him, and his hands, out of your head

Birthday boy- @btssmutgalore

Yoongi wants to give his best friend Jimin the perfect birthday gift… And it just so happens to be you.

Happy valentine’s day- @sweetwritertanya​

You have a very special idea for this Valentine’s Day, focused completely on your boyfriend Yoongi who comes home to an unexpected surprise. 

Happy birthday- @parkmuse

Your boyfriend Jimin has a bit of a surprise for you on your birthday, and he goes by the name of Yoongi.

Arranged-  @minyoongijjangjjangmanboongboong

Y/N is a struggling student in Seoul: working multiple jobs, living in a broom closet apartment, and often sacrificing her dignity for the sake of her livelihood. What happens when a handsome stranger presents her with an offer she cannot refuse at the moment she needs it most?

This tiny space-  @ubemango

Yoongi was always attractive—your sexy piece of ass, as you like to remind him often—and seeing the tight skin of his back when he undresses further makes the insides of your stomach churn in want: the kind that made you want to fall to your knees, grovel. You love having a kid, but it’s been too long.

The boa constrictor-  @tatertotthethot

You’ve always had a bad habit of drinking copious amounts of water just before going to bed every night, and for some reason, you always seem to forget that it’ll eventually lead to you having to wake up a few hours later with a dire need to pee. 

Dope- @honeymoonjin

The HSD is a branch of the South Korean government tasked with taking down the most infallible criminals in Seoul’s underbelly. Kim Namjoon, or RM, is their next target: the extremely well-spoken and careful leader of a cocaine dealing gang.

Listen closely- @avveh

Unintentionally, you stumble upon something that makes you view your coworker Min Yoongi in a whole new light.

The truth between us- @jimlingss

a book deal should be the most exciting time of your life, but there seems to be a constant and omnipresent damper on your mood in the form of a certain min yoongi, who you would just cut out from your life, if he weren’t your editor. but then, the world shifts beneath your feet, and you begin to wonder if maybe you’ve always been looking at life from the wrong angle. 

Surround me- @minflix

after a very unfair and unjust firing from his bartending job, yoongi just wants to soothe his sadness by spending some quality time with his best friend - who he is very much in love with.

Cockwarming – @gukgalore​

Ngl the thought of cockwarming Yoongi is the only thing keeping me going at this point

Havana- @inkjam-moon​

You’ve spent the last six years following in your parents footsteps all the way to Cuba, trying to make them proud by finishing their research, but when you join forces with a snarky boat owner who knows more than he lets on, will things play out the way you planned them?

The equation of  love- @kookingtae​

When you met Yoongi in a club, you thought it was fate that brought the two of you together. But after you walked into your college math class for the very first time, you weren’t so sure anymore.

Workaholic- @hobiwonder​

Yoongi needs to relax and Hoseok has many tricks up his sleeve to make him. None of them Yoongi thought included hiring a hooker to pay him a visit one stormy night. 

Different- @satisfractions​

in which tattooartist!yoongi meets floral!reader because he needs to practice drawing flowers for his job

Salud- @yukheii

ninja yoongi (Naruto au)

Toke temptation-  @strawbxxymilk​

You accidentally confess your feelings to Yoongi during a smoke sesh

Accidents- @jungxk​

dad!yoongi makes me soft and also h*rny

Fists- @badbhye​​

reader’s first time

The early shift-  @hobidreams​

your coworker yoongi is always infuriatingly late. except the one time he’s much too early.

Mixtape- @jungblue​

Two mystery students from your college run the podcast dubbed ‘mixtape.’ It’s become a sort of phenomenon around campus, listened to by almost everyone. In their most recent episode they discussed various study methods… One of them being oh so tempting.

Three squeezes-  @nomnomsik​

Yoongi is notorious for his grumpy and emotionless behavior as director of an upcoming company. Yet, it’s a mystery to everyone how manager Hoseok always seems to soften him up. The truth is that the two are actually engaged. Unknown to this fact, you happen to take an interest in Hoseok… and he does too. 

Yoongi cums in his pants- @gukgalore​

where u and yoongi are making out and u start grinding on him, and he tells u to stop bc he’s gonna cum his pants. But u don’t and he acc does cum his pants

Kitten- @yminie​

Yoongi’s focus on work has subjected your relationship to having a dry spell, and with a little prompting from your best friend, you tell him exactly what he should do. But you don’t make the rules kitten, and the game you’re choosing to play is a dangerous one.

Wine- @junghelioseok​

he makes staying after-hours absolutely worthwhile. restaurant au

Renatus- @mininky​

(y/n) finds herself in a very unusual situation where her fate seems to be woven with Hades himself, who’s too much of a jerk for her to even admit that sure okay he’s kind of really good looking.​

Cobalt and charcoal- @tayegi​

soulmate au

Touch of silk-  @floralseokjin​ 

In a world where vampires coexist with the living, there are many humans looking for a cheap thrill…you’re ashamed to admit you’re curious too, putting to good use a dating app you find…but Min Yoongi is nothing like you imagined a vampire to be…

[soulerflaire]

So I beat the story of Pokemon Shield yesterday, and now I’ve had time to think about everything. Spoilers below the cut. Also super long post.

First I wanna focus on gameplay.

Overall, fantastic Pokemon game. I liked a lot of the new Pokemon, I felt there was a really good variety of Pokemon available throughout, graphics were good, the gym missions were (mostly) clever and (mostly) fun.

I heard people had complaints about the starters, but I like them. I picked Scorbunny and was terrified he’d end up Fire/Fighting, but Cinderace (and all the starters) remained single-type. I think their designs are cool! I love Rillaboom’s drum and Cinderace’s soccer fireball attack. I like Inteleon the least of the three, but I still think his design is neat. It is basically finger guns: the Pokemon, which is funny, but not particularly interesting to me. I’m glad I picked Scorbunny.

I liked the set up of the Gym Challenge, though the pacing was a bit weird. Not sure if that was me or the game, but I felt like there was very little story between each gym. That led to me doing several gyms in rapid succession, then spending 3 hours in the Wild Area doing nothing, then tackling another set of gyms. But the gym challenges were fun! Except the fire one. I hated that. And the battles themselves felt awesome! The crowd cheering (especially in the final part of the music, oh my god that was so good), the huge Pokemon, the dialogue, it all made for a match that felt like it mattered. Even if I one-shot all their Pokemon, the match still felt meaningful. It wasn’t just stomp and move on.

I think the Wild Area was a cool experiment, but either make the whole game like that, or don’t have it. It feels like the Safari Zone; an area disconnected from the rest of the game, with the express purpose of catching Pokemon and nothing else. Except it’s so huge and seems to have every single Pokemon in the game, so long as the weather is right, that I feel like there was no point in catching Pokemon anywhere else. Why bother even touching the tall grass when I’m travelling through the regular world, when I can just catch whatever would be in there in the Wild Area later? And frankly, I never really got punished for that mentality. I can just catch them all in the Wild Area later. The only hurdle is they all turn level 60 after you become champion, which I have very mixed feelings about. I would like to hear their explanation for doing that, tbh.

Max Raid battles feel really cool, but god damn, Nintendo, you have got to get a better connection system. Half the time, I can’t find any raids to join because there are no shout cards popping up and the button to get new cards isn’t there for some reason. Even when I can see the cards, most of the time I fail to join, either because the raid already started or the person cancelled the raid. There’s only a 3-minute window to join, and with the infrequent appearance of cards (with no timestamps) I have no idea if any of the cards I see are even from the past 10 minutes, let alone past 3. And the NPCs are randomly selected and use their moves randomly, so once you get to the 5+ star raids, you cannot use them at all. One of them is a friggin’ Magikarp that uses Hydro Pump for no damage and misses half the time anyway. Why!? That was funny exactly zero times!

The music, however, I have zero complaints about. Fantastic soundtrack! I love the gym battle music, and the Team Yell fight music, and the Wild Area bagpipes, and the legendaries fight music, and just pretty much all of it. If they release the soundtrack, I’m buying it immediately.

Graphics were good. I wasn’t blown away by them, but it’s a pretty game.

One thing I noticed is how rushed things started to feel towards the end. Initially, the world feels enormous. Routes are long and winding, and it really feels like exploring things. But the further into the game you go, the shorter the routes get. And there’s no Victory Road at all. Just an extremely short route called White Hill, with, like, 6 trainers and a couple grass patches. You take a train to the White Hill Station, and if you look at the map, you see you ended up skipping an entire mountain and a stretch of land twice the length of the actual route. Kinda feels like they planned to do something with all that space, but cut it later on. The forest that they did the 24-hour stream of, Glimwood Tangle? It’s tiny. Like a third the size of Viridan Forest. It’s gorgeous, sure, but I spent more time exploring the first town than I did in that place. The final town certainly looks enormous, but then it turns out you can’t access half of it, and a huge chunk in the middle of the part you can access is taken up by the rail station. Which has nothing important inside it. Just a generic mart and some NPCs to talk to. There was honestly a lot of stuff the seemed like it was gonna be something later, and ended up being nothing. If it’s all content that got cut to release the game sooner, that’s extremely disappointing. Frankly, I wonder if they bit off more than they could chew, turning Pokemon into a console game. They clearly were trying to make it worth being on console, but ended up running out of time.

Now for the story. This is probably the first Pokemon game I feel this way about, but honestly: I loved the characters, but found the story to be pretty lackluster.

Hop has a wonderful character arc, where he’s boastful and energetic, but slowly loses confidence as he keeps losing Pokemon battles, and falls into a depression after a particularly hard defeat. He seems to pull out of it after encouragement from friends, but then he spirals into it again when you beat him in the finals. He spends most of the endgame putting himself down and saying he can’t do anything to help, but as you travel together stopping the Dynamaxed Pokemon, he perks up again (thanks in part of Piers being a really good Dad despite having no kids), and all this culminates in him saying he’s realized being champion isn’t really for him; instead, he’s gonna become a Pokemon professor and travel around helping people and Pokemon wherever he can. It’s really sweet, and I like that we see a rival who actually does get upset that they keep losing to you all the time, without turning them into a villain. Hop is never not your friend during all this; he’s just sad and needs so many hugs.

Marnie was a lot more fun of a character than I was expecting. From the official art, I thought she was gonna be the super reserved, stoic character who gets angrier and angrier as she loses to you over and over. But she’s actually outgoing and fun, and loves battling the player even if she loses. And her brother Piers is just as good at subverting expectations. He’s all dressed up as a super punk rocker who’ll be a terrible influence on everyone, but he’s definitely the Tired Adult of the group when you’re travelling around trying to fix things, and he’s a good Dad friend. Team Yell is much less creepy now that I have context. Piers is a gym leader, and Team Yell is the gym staff that he asked to go help cheer Marnie on during her gym challenge. They’re overzealous, but they’re just trying to help her. Some of them even start cheering for you instead, once Piers acknowledges your skill.

Bede can go fuck himself. I know they tried to give him some kind of backstory or whatever, and some vague punishment/redemption with Opal making him the new Fairy Gym leader, but dude’s a dick, through and through.

I could go on and on about the characters, but this post is already getting too long, so I’ll talk about the story itself now. Through most of the game, you get hints that something bad is happening or going to happen, or something is going wrong, but every time one of those hints pops up, the adult say “Let us handle this, you focus on your gym challenge.” And that kind of bothered me at the time, because it’s like if you get the guard station outside Saffron City and start to argue with the guard, then Lance shows up and says “Hey, why not skip down to Vermillion City? I’ll take care of this.” And that’s the end of it. Next time you try to pass through, it’s open and there’s nothing wrong. You know something is going on, but no one will let you near it, so you just keep going on your gym challenge.

Later you find Leon (the champion) in an argument with Chairman Rose (owner of every corporation in the region) about an energy crisis. Rose says we need to start dealing with it now, Leon says it won’t happen for a thousand years, why do we need to bother right now. Then of course the Chairman triggers the Darkest Day right before your championship match with Leon, ranting about the energy crisis and whatnot, then you have to go stop the super powerful legendary Pokemon he released for Real Reasons That Definitely Make Logical Sense And Don’t Need Explained No Sir. At first, I thought this with a super shitty take on the energy crisis, that we’ll run out of fossil fuels and not have renewable energy ready. But if that’s the case, it’s extremely clumsy, because 1) no owner of a corporation gives two shits about anything a thousand years from now and 2) they had the guy warning everyone about the future crisis also be the guy who almost destroys the whole country. I chalked it up to being rushed and tried not to think about it too hard.

But now I’m thinking differently. There’s something Leon says, after the whole Darkest Day thing is averted: he’s gonna start thinking about the future now, and start working on ways to make the future better (or something to that effect). I think maybe the “moral” of the story is that we shouldn’t just let problems be until they come to a head, and we shouldn’t rely on others to take care of the problems. We relied on the adults to handle things in a reasonable manner, and it nearly led to the apocalypse. So maybe that’s the point? Don’t rely on others to take care of things; if you see a problem, try and fix it. And likely specifically talking about climate change and the destruction of the environment. Galarian Corsola is a bleached, dead coral for a reason.

If that’s the case, then A+ for message, D- for execution. But it’s Pokemon, I know they can’t get too serious about things. But it mostly led to a story I didn’t really enjoy, full of characters that I loved. While I would prefer to finally have the remake of Gen 4, I wouldn’t be sad to see a Sword and Shield 2.

[sage-nebula]

PokéAni - Immortality AU headcanons

I honestly want to re-write the one fic I have for this AU (in order to fix up some details that are either now incorrect, as well as add in things I forgot, like how Alan keeps Gabrielle after Sycamore’s passing), as well as write more fics for this AU (including and especially one showing Ash’s life after the events of all this), but since I don’t know when I’ll get around to all of that, I figured I’d go ahead and make this post real quick so that I can at least have details for this on my blog. (Plus, if I have the structure down, this means I can hop around in this AU and write fics for it wherever. I can refer to this as a masterpost if anyone ever has any questions.

So with that said . . .

The basic premise is that this would happen near the conclusion of the Flare arc. I first conceived this AU before the Flare arc finished, when all we had was an episode summary saying that Alan and Ash were going to head into the Megalith. Back then, I hadn’t yet realized what the Megalith actually was, and thought that it might have some connection to Xerneas due to its rainbow color (and because we were still speculating at the time that the ultimate weapon from the games was going to come into play somehow thanks to Lysandre). Now, however, I’ve realized that the Megalith was actually the meteorite that crashed in Hoenn eons ago and allowed the Draconids to get Rayquaza to mega evolve (since it served as a massive Key Stone, and thus reacted with Rayquaza’s innate ability to mega evolve thanks to Dragon Ascent), so that idea is kind of scrapped. However, I can still work with this. For the purposes of this AU, let’s say that Lysandre does still have his hands on the ultimate weapon, unbeknownst to anyone (save perhaps Xerosic and the other scientists), and was keeping it as a backup. When he loses control of Squishy and Z2 thanks to Bonnie (and therefore Plan A fails), he moves on to Plan B and relocates to Fleur-De-Lis Laboratories in order to put the ultimate weapon into place. Now, the Megalith still has to factor in somehow. In the actual arc, it activated thanks to the life energy Hari-san had absorbed from Squishy, thereby going crazy with roots and whatnot as it moved toward the Sundial in Anistar City. That can still happen, but perhaps that was a diversion. Lysandre set it up so that the Megalith would activate and head toward Anistar City, supposedly to wreak some kind of havoc and end the world, but in all actuality all that would happen is that there would be some more city destruction because on its own, the Megalith can’t do anything. It’s just a massive Key Stone, after all. Unless Rayquaza is there to mega evolve with it, no world ending is going to happen. Nonetheless, everyone is distracted and still goes after the Megalith as in canon, particularly since Hari-san is still trapped inside, and Alan made a promise to get Hari-san back for Manon. So all of that still happens. However, again, it was a diversion. While everyone else is doing that, Lysandre is preparing the ultimate weapon, which he can then use to cause mass genocide all on his own, without making Squishy or Z2 do it for him. Though he does need a legendary to power it, it’s possible that he has another Zygarde core (perhaps Z3?), or maybe there could have been something about how he found Yveltal and/or Xerneas, or at least their energy. Or maybe, and I like this idea even better, the real reason why he was already in Hoenn after sending Alan there to search for the Megalith was because he---unbeknownst to the rest of the TSME squad, Steven included---was having a business meeting with Steven’s father, the current CEO of Devon Corporation, and the result of that meeting was that Lysandre got his hands on enough raw Infinity Energy in order to power the ultimate weapon. Remember, the Infinity Energy that Devon Corporation canonically makes (according to the games) is the same exact energy that was used to power the ultimate weapon 3,000 years ago, made from sacrificed pokémon and all. (Well, it comes from the lives of dead pokémon, but that’s not to say Devon Corporation is necessarily sacrificing pokémon to make their technology. That said, the games also don’t say that they’re not doing that, so . . .) This means that if he had that Infinity Energy, he could power the ultimate weapon even if he didn’t have Zygarde, Yveltal, or Xerneas. I like this idea a lot better, particularly since it doesn’t require him to pull a legendary out of thin air. Let’s go with it. So Lysandre, while everyone else is busy stopping the Megalith, is powering up the ultimate weapon, possibly (probably) with Xerosic’s help, along with the other scientists (e.g. Celosia, Mabel) once he rounded them up from wherever they were. Once Hari-san is rescued and the Megalith stops, instead of Lysandre having his “surprise, bitch” moment by showing up actually on the scene, his “surprise, bitch” moment comes when someone picks up on a really frightening energy reading coming from near Geosenge Town. (I believe everyone might have already been near there, but I can’t remember if they said where the Megalith was, exactly, when they managed to stop it. They may have, but I’m not going to rewatch those episodes right this second to find out.) Lysandre perhaps hijacks everyone’s HoloCasters and other equipment again to make another announcement about his plans, this time adding that he has an ultimate weapon with which to carry them out (and at this point perhaps Sycamore can have a moment of horror as he realizes what this ultimate weapon must be, gives a brief history lesson to those who either aren’t native Kaloseans or else don’t know their history / lore), and thanks Devon Corporation for providing him with the energy to do it (as a “fuck you” to Steven, who definitely hates him now if he didn’t hate him before (and trust me, Steven hated Lysandre before, we have canonical evidence for this)). Of course, everyone is beyond horrified about this, and when whoever was picking up on these signals or energy readings or whatever pinpoints the location and gives the exact coordinates for where this is going down, Alan wastes all of .01 seconds before hopping on Lizardon’s back (FINALLY) to fly there and do something to stop it, because you know he would. (And so does everyone who knows him. Like, legit, Steven tells him to wait, Manon tells him he can’t, Sycamore is in shock, but does Alan listen to any of them? Nope. He and Lizardon are going to stop the director right now and you better believe that no one can stop him.) I don’t think that, even mega evolved, Lizardon could presently fit two people on his back . . . but Ash would still try, chasing after them and jumping to try to hitch a ride on Lizardon’s back. He falls, but Alan catches his wrist, and in the next second Lizardon grabs Ash (and Pikachu, of course!) in a tight bear hug, and off to the ultimate weapon they go. They arrive before the weapon is fired, and of course Lysandre has his gloat moment like in the games. Since the confrontation on Prism Tower borrowed dialogue from the games (the “what are you protecting? A tomorrow that is even worse than today?” line he gave to Alan, as well as his woe is me sob story about how people were greedy when he tried to help them and thus everyone deserves to die), more dialogue could be borrowed and put to use here, such as the “you did stop me fair and square, but I’m not going to stop because lmao you can’t always get what you want” bit, among other things. Lysandre would have healed his pokémon by this point, probably, so they could battle again, and once again Lysandre would lose (hopefully with Lizardon getting a win over that pyroar because tbh, he deserves it). Lysandre is mad, kind of, but in this case the battle would mostly be to stall as the ultimate weapon powers up. Lysandre still plans to fire it, but before he can, both Alan and Ash order attacks on it, and Lizardon and Pikachu follow through. While this doesn’t break the ultimate weapon entirely, it damages it enough so that it at least can’t fire on all of Kalos. And this time, Lysandre is truly angry, he’s truly enraged, and he lashes out at Alan in particular because, you know, Alan has been his abuse victim for the past two years, so why wouldn’t Lysandre lash out at him in retribution for his plans having failed? So there’s another verbal fight there (and also Ash speaking up because hey, Lysandre, shut up), but eventually it stops when Lysandre realizes that (as I said before) they didn’t break the ultimate weapon completely, it can still do something, and he starts laughing and says that even if he can’t unleash this on the world (as the world deserves), he can still use it on them. Alan realizes what’s happening and he says, “Ash, run.” “What? I’m not gonna run and leave you here,” Ash says, indignant. “Pika pika!” Pikachu agrees, equally indignant. “We can all get out!” Alan says, but he doesn’t really, completely mean that, because the fact that Lysandre is doing any of this at all is his fault (even if it was Infinity Energy and not mega evolution energy that he’s using for this particular portion of it, but details), and so if he dies that’s okay, but--- “Lizardon, take them and go.” “But are you actually going to follow?” Ash would ask, and Lizardon hasn’t moved either, because he knows. He knows. And Alan is so frustrated, but there’s no time--- And there really isn’t, because this little bit took maybe about three seconds, and that was enough for Lysandre to do what he was going to do, and what he did results in the ultimate weapon exploding in a burst of rainbow light, and that---that did it. That did the trick. See, in the games, his final gambit failed. The protagonist and other characters didn’t die (Y Version), nor were they cursed with immortality (X Version). But here, it doesn’t fail. No one dies (though Alan, Lizardon, Ash, and Pikachu are all unconscious and buried under rubble when they’re found), but they are struck with immortality. (Lysandre isn’t found, by the by. He’s not there when everyone else shows up to dig through the rubble and recover the human boys and their platonic soulmates. But he is immortal. He just had the good sense to get the fuck out of dodge before the police showed up.) But this isn’t something they don’t realize right away. How could they possibly know? It isn’t until later that, well . . .

First, as a disclaimer: I’m aware that the way immortality affected AZ was that he grew into a giant (though personally I think that’s just genes?) and did seem to age to some extent. But that said, it’s been 3,000 years and he still just looks like a really big old man, so I think it’s less that he just stopped aging at some point, and more that he was just already somewhat old when the immortality struck him, and so he’s just been frozen like that all this time. Floette also makes me feel that way, since she still looks perfectly young, like any other floette. So for the purposes of this AU, the immortality I’m saying they were struck with is the “stop aging as you are right now” type of immortality, so they won’t grow or physically age beyond that point. (With one exception, kind of. More on that in a second.)

A lot of the stuff that I had in the original fic I wrote for Alan still holds true. At first, no one knows that Alan, Lizardon, Ash, and Pikachu are immortal. This is because they have no real way of knowing, no one told them, and also because aging is slow, you know? Teenagers don’t show that much variation as they get older, once they’re older teenagers, so even though Alan doesn’t seem to change when he turns sixteen (shortly after all this), or seventeen, or eighteen, no one thinks much of it. But when he’s twenty-five, he looks the exact same as he did when he was fifteen, and Manon jokes about his moisturizer, like, how does he still look so young? And as he nears thirty and still looks like a teenager, well . . . Sycamore puts the pieces together a few years before that point (like, early 20s, maybe 23-24). He realizes that when the ultimate weapon exploded, there must have been some kind of reaction. And that’s when Alan leaves to find some way to end this, to stop it, because he doesn’t want to be immortal and outlive everyone he cares about, he doesn’t want this. (He’d probably sort of . . . not necessarily resign from being Champion, per se, but since he can’t do his duties while traveling like this he’d at least step down to an extent, and the day-to-day stuff would be handled by a standing Champion, kind of like what Lance did while Red was being a hermit on Mt Silver in the games. In this case, standing Champion would probably be Diantha.) 

That said, even if the non-aging stuff wasn’t as immediately apparent for Alan, for Ash? Whether we go with the idea that he was ten (as is canon) or thirteen / fourteen (as I prefer because it makes more sense), you’re still going to see a lot more variation in the next few years due to how kids are, you know, supposed to have growth spurts around this time. But Ash doesn’t. His voice doesn’t get any deeper, and he doesn’t grow, and at first he’s just really irate, because really? Really? He was already always pretty short for a boy his age, and he’s been looking forward to finally being taller than Misty (he plans to gloat so much), so when is his growth spurt coming, huh? When is this gonna happen for him? It’s not. It doesn’t. And when he gets to be about fifteen and he looks and sounds the same way he did when he was thirteen, he gets really alarmed. He’s alarmed enough to see doctors about it, but they have no idea what happened. And he asks Professor Oak, but Professor Oak doesn’t know either. Neither does Professor Kukui. For some reason he doesn’t think to ask Professor Sycamore (in fairness, Ash was never that close to Professor Sycamore), so they don’t talk about it, but he sees various people to see if they know why he’s just not aging, and no one knows, but most tell him not to worry. At least, they do when he’s fifteen. When he’s twenty and he still looks and sounds thirteen / fourteen (just let me have this), yeah, then they get concerned. But Sycamore had realized about Alan in Alan’s early-to-mid twenties, and to be honest around the time he does he might contact Ash himself to ask Ash how he’s doing, and when he sees that Ash still looks ten, well . . . good news is, he knows why. Bad news is . . . everything else. So, that’s real great news. Ash is thrilled. [/sarcasm]

Like I said, a lot of the other stuff for Alan still holds true. Alan doesn’t find a way to reverse it (of course), and so he can’t do anything to stop the fact that the people he cares about age out and die while his body stays fifteen. Meyer, Clemont, and Bonnie (so, his stepdad and stepsiblings) all grow old and die, with only their kids and/or grandkids (mostly just in Clemont’s case---Bonnie never has any kids) living on. Manon grows old and dies as well, and though she always seemed to find delight in the fact that people mistook her for the older one and Alan for her younger brother / son / grandson as she grew so much older than him, toward the end of her life she did let on that she realized that Alan never found those jokes nearly as funny (and she realizes why he never found them funny), and encourages him to, hey hey, maybe spend some time with her surviving family? (She’s a lesbian, but she got married to a nice woman and they adopted some kids, who had some kids, and so on and so forth.) And Alan says sure, but his heart is really not in it. And as for Sycamore . . . Well, Sycamore was always pretty worried, you know? He’s a forward thinker, and he knows his son, and he saw how desperate and despaired Alan got when there really was just no way on record to undo what happened (because why would there be?). And so he spent a lot of the time they had together alive trying to look on the bright side of things. Alan is immortal, so think of all the things he can learn! The places he can go and the things he can experience! So much left to learn, and explore, and do. There’s no getting around the fact that Alan is watching everyone he loves (apart from Lizardon, ofc) grow old and die (and no gentler way to put that, either), and of course that’s heartbreaking, but Alan is still alive and can do so many more things and Sycamore just wants Alan to keep learning, keep experiencing, please, promise him you’ll keep doing this--- And Alan promises that he will, but . . . again, his heart’s not really in it. Alan would take Gabrielle once Sycamore passes away. Gabrielle is a dragon by species, so even though she’s not immortal herself, she’s still aging very slowly. She’s got a lot of longevity in her. So Alan, being immortal, takes Gabrielle (or Gabby, as he calls her) with him, because as an immortal he’ll actually outlive her, but he’ll also be able to care for her for the rest of her life. Plus, he’s family, he’s the one who originally brought her home . . . so it makes sense that he would be the one to take her from there, too. (The lab is left in his name, but it’s too painful to be there once Sycamore dies. So although Alan does own the property, he lets the assistants that were presently working there still run the place. The parts of it that were home are closed off, no one can go through their bedrooms, but . . . yeah, he just can’t bear to be there anymore. It’s too painful.) That really, really bad moment where Alan legitimately tries to kill himself because he just can’t stand this anymore still happens. This time, though, it’s after Bonnie’s death, since Manon was a little older and thus would probably die a little sooner? Then again, Bonnie was a Ranger . . . well, either way, after losing his father, his stepfather, his (step)brother, and both of his sisters (stepsister in Bonnie, tagalong kid that he formed a sibling relationship with in Manon), that’s just . . . kind of more than enough. And so he still has that really, really bad moment where he actually gets the alcohol and all of those pills and is about to really do it . . . but the he feels the weight of Lizardon’s pokéball in his pocket, and he realizes what he’s doing (that he’s about to leave Lizardon alone, too), and so he calls him out and has that moment where he apologizes and apologizes while hugging Lizardon, and just cries, and all of that still happens, because it’s honestly based on my own near-suicide and how I only stopped because of Shiloh and hugged her and apologized in much the same way, and therefore it’s personal enough for me to keep. So that stays. After that, Alan gets himself together again and decides to keep traveling, as noted in the fic. He does go to so many different places, experiences different things . . . but, perhaps most importantly, he also makes it a point to always get involved in any criminal, world-ending things that are going down to stop them, because if he’s not doing that, then what’s the point? (Also, yeah, he stopped being Kalos Champion a while ago---like, officially gave it up---but that’s just a tiny blip to this whole story now.) He also starts wearing the second outfit I described in this post (yeah, this is the AU that I was talking about; the fic I was trying to keep from being spoiled got deleted when I lost my “current WIPs” folder, so). CTRL+F and search for “the other outfit I have in mind” to jump to that part. Alan is given the coat from the Johto Dragon Clan after he helps them out with something, as part of his “when there is a crisis, stop to help” thing he has going on. I’m not sure if he’s actually aware of his heritage (though quite possibly, if his biological parents also sought him out in this AU), but whether he is or not, it’s not entirely relevant, because he was given the coat as a gift nonetheless.

All of that said about Alan . . . remember how I said there was one exception among the four to the “no longer grows or ages” bit? Yeah. Lizardon. My headcanon for the charizard species is that the 5′7″ height given in the Pokédex is an average height for charizard when they first evolve from charmeleon, but that they continue to grow in size as they grow older. This is why all of the charizard in the Charicific Valley are so big, why Ash’s charizard has grown over time, why Kiawe’s charizard (which was his grandfather’s) is so big, et cetera. And so, as the years pass, Lizardon gets bigger, too. The thing is . . . he shouldn’t be. At least, Alan doesn’t think he should be. He was caught in the blast, too---the ultimate weapon should have affected him, too. And look, guys, look, he has already watched his entire family grow old and die. Gabby will live for hundreds of years or so, but she’s going to die, too, and he knows this, he’s accepted this, but Lizardon . . . yeah, he had that brief moment where he flipped out and was going to take his own life, where he wasn’t thinking about Lizardon, but then he did think of Lizardon, and he stopped because of Lizardon, because he can do this, he can do this so long as he has Lizardon, but only as long as he has Lizardon. If he . . . if he has to . . . if he has to watch Lizardon die, too . . . if Lizardon also grows old and dies too, then he . . . then he . . . He really tries not to think about it. He really, really tries. But Lizardon, as a charizard, gets to be pretty damn big. Like, ten feet tall? Something like that. Eventually he just can’t be indoors anymore, he’s definitely big enough to carry multiple riders, he could make the earth quake when he roars, like. He gets to be a big boy. And he doesn’t look older, really, other than that, but like . . . it’s deeply, intimately terrifying for Alan. He knows he really will lose it if Lizardon dies, too. Nothing will hold him back. Not even Gabby. So he tries---he tries to tell himself that maybe the Infinity Energy just affected Lizardon differently because he’s a dragon. Maybe it still lets him grow because he’s a dragon, but he’ll stop growing at some point. Maybe . . . maybe . . .

As for Ash, well, as mentioned, he was irate when he realized he wasn’t getting his growth spurt, then scared / worried, and then he learned what happened and he . . . he just . . . Oh.  At first, he tried to look on the bright side. Look, Pikachu! We’re immortal! We’ll never grow old and die! We can do everything forever! Our journey will never end! Hooray!!! The thing is, there’s only so long the bright side can hold you over. Although Ash is only thirteen / fourteen physically, emotionally and mentally, he isn’t. He matured. And so, say, did his feelings for Misty. He had a big ol’ crush on her that he didn’t fully understand or know what to do with when he was ten, but those feelings matured over time. And to be honest, Misty had feelings for him back then as well . . . but as she grows into her twenties, she doesn’t feel attraction toward him physically anymore, because . . . well, he has the body of a child (young teen, but you know). So although she still cares about him very much, she moves on. He doesn’t, but she does. And she gets married to someone else. And Ash---feeling salty, and bitter, and more than a little upset that the woman he loves is marrying someone else because he looks like a thirteen-year-old even though he’s mentally twenty-six---doesn’t attend the wedding even though he was supposed to be part of the bridal party (he was Misty’s best friend, after all). He does send Pikachu, but this still causes a huge fight with Misty, who wanted him to be there, but Ash is angry and emotional, and it . . . it’s a huge, big mess.  And that’s just one thing---that’s just one thing that happened. There are other things, too. Such as, well, just as Alan had to deal with Sycamore dying, so, too, does Ash have to deal with watching Delia grow old and die. She teases him sometimes about never giving her grandkids (“At least I have lots of pokémon,” he says), but for the most part she’s of course still very supportive and loving of her immortal son until the day she dies (from old age, peacefully in her sleep). Ash inherits the house, and unlike Alan he still visits someitmes when he’s older. It’s kind of rare, though, because as the years (and centuries) go on the populace of Pallet Town changes a lot, and so while no one can take the house because it does belong to someone and not the town itself, there are so many urban legends surrounding it from the Pallet Town populace. Whenever Ash does show up, everyone is always pretty “!!!!” about the fact that some seemingly random “thirteen-year-old kid” is going into the “abandoned house,” so Ash usually tries to sneak in at night, or however he does it. And it’s not just his mom. After enough years, when Ash is mentally in his thirties or forties, he realizes that the TRio hasn’t been around. He seeks them out, and finds that they have . . . a house? A house. They have a house. (Probably squatting, but whatever.) And they’re . . . not following him anymore? Really? “We’re old now, twerp,” James says. “Speak for yourself,” Jessie snaps. “We’re the same age,” James says, offended that she had swatted his arm like that. And it’s true, they’re in their forties or fifties now, like---it’s fine if they retire now, right? “But don’t you wanna try to steal Pikachu?” Ash asks. He didn’t sit down at the kitchen table even though they told him to, even though Jessie is fixing up some tea in the little electronic kettle they have, and James is preparing pancakes at the stove. “No, not anymore. If we wanted Pikachu we would have gone to take him. We don’t do that anymore,” Jessie says. “We’ve moved on.” “Moved on?” Ash says. “Everyone’s gotta grow up sometime, kid,” Meowth says, from where he’s curled up in front of the fireplace. And that was the wrong thing to say. When Jessie and James turn around to give Ash his tea and pancakes, he and Pikachu have already bolted through the open window.  He never speaks to them again, though they have an uncanny ability of tracking where he is, and so they send him things from time to time. After enough years pass the gifts dwindle down, and then the last thing Ash gets is a letter written by James telling him that he and Jessie are very old and also sick and don’t have much time left at all, but that they want him to take care of himself, and also to never let anyone else steal Pikachu, either, because if they didn’t get to no one else should, okay? He goes back to them at last just to make sure they can have proper funerals, or at least memorials. I mean, they didn’t have any family. No one besides him and Pikachu, really. And it bothered him too much to see them all old and stuff when he wasn’t, and when they weren’t going to steal Pikachu (or try to steal Pikachu) anymore, and so he had stopped visiting, and he really regrets that now, and--- I’m sure you can imagine the breakdown for yourself. I don’t need to write it out. He had stopped talking to Misty for a good chunk of years after their fight, but this motivates him to seek her out and really . . . make up. And she calls him an idiot for thinking that she wouldn’t have wanted to see him, or that she’d still be holding a grudge, and so they do reconcile. But when she dies, he doesn’t go to her funeral. He does’t go to Brock’s, either. Or Gary’s, or Tracey’s, May’s, or Max’s, or Dawn’s, or Iris’s . . . See, here’s the thing. He had to accept his mom was dead because he was the one to put that funeral together. He had to accept the TRio was dead, because same. But if he never sees anyone else’s funerals, or hears of their deaths, or anything like that, then he can just pretend they’re still alive somewhere. Old, sure, but still alive somewhere. He never has to move past the denial stage. Definitely not to acceptance. And this is totally a perfectly healthy way to live, so he’s just going to do that. It’s a bit harder for his pokémon. Most of them aren’t dragons by species. They die over the years. He always makes sure he’s there for that, as best he can be. Charizard is still alive, being a dragon by species, and in the Valley for a good portion of time. Gible, Noivern, and Goodra as well (though he doesn’t have Goodra officially, anymore, but still). He does eventually get Charizard on his team permanently once again (along with a Key Stone and Charizardite Y), as well as the aforementioned Gible (now Garchomp) and Noivern. He also gets a milotic (since milotic are dragons by species---sea dragons), and this milotic actually gets a nickname: Mysterica. He calls her Myst or Mysti for short. “After a real special girl I knew a long time ago,” he says. He never becomes Kanto Champion in this AU, because around the time he was going to he has already realized / learned of his immortality, and it was pointed out to him by Gary that, well, it’s probably not the best to put himself in public spotlight then, is it, because then everyone will realize what has happened to him. And to say that Ash is a little bitter about this on top of everything else that his immortality makes him salty about is an understatement. Bad enough it makes him have to watch everyone grow old and die (even his dragons will grow old and die eventually), but now it has also taken his dream from him. Great. He does keep traveling, though (of course he does), but after a little while he stops getting travel companions, for the most part. That’s just more people he’d have to get attached to, only for them to grow old and die later, and also most of the people who’d want to travel with him are kids, because they think he’s a kid, and he is . . . not a kid, mentally, at all. But sometimes he does still mentor some new kids, and when he turns one hundred he decides to pretend that he is a brand new trainer fresh out of Pallet Town again as a “fun prank” (so mentally healthy!), and that’s how he meets Souji and Makoto. See, look, I can do things with M20. I can make it even sadder than it already was. Look at me go. Like Alan, he ends up purposefully involving himself in world-crises as he travels around, because he’s Ash, of course he does. The outfit I usually imagine him in is heavily based on Red’s from SM. He has the t-shirt with the 96 on it, and the backpack that has the strap go across his chest. But his hat is actually the one Red had in his original art, albeit the leaf badge is instead replaced by his Key Stone. (To use it, he swipes his fingers across the Key Stone and then grabs the bill of his hat to turn it backwards in one fluid motion. His invocation is: “Let’s understand the power that’s inside! Mega evolve!” Because come on, it’s perfect.) His pants are baggier, too, and fall over his sneakers, and he still has some dark fingerless gloves on. That’s how I picture him in his immortal years, anyway. But speaking of traveling . . .

So both Alan and Ash travel around, getting involved in things, probably dropping fake names and aliases everywhere, you know. They both know, in the back of their minds, that the other is immortal. But any attempts at communication failed for some reason or another (they both travel so much being the main reason), and for decades and decades their paths never crossed, and Ash was doing his best to avoid everyone for a time, and things happened . . . But finally, they both do reunite, purely by chance, during a crisis in Oblivia. How I imagine it is that there’s this big, huge battle going on, and Ash is fighting, and all of a sudden he hears “Dragon Claw!” and he knows that voice, he knows, and he looks over and there’s Alan and Lizardon, and he calls Alan’s name, and Alan looks at him, and they realize so many things in that second, but there’s no time to talk, so they finish up the battle. Everything gets wrapped up, and it takes another couple days, but when they finally get a chance to settle down and reunite and talk it’s just . . . it’s really emotional, for both of them. But we also know what Ash tends to do with emotions he feels about other humans, so he says, “Hey . . . we never did have that battle you promised me.” So they battle. Lizardon vs. Charizard, and maybe mega evolution is involved, but either way. They battle and Alan wins, but at the end Ash is staring at Alan, and when Alan asks him about it, Ash says, “Nothing, it’s just that this is the first time I’ve seen you really smile in three days.” And it’s true. Alan feels . . . lighter, and the battle made him feel happier, than he has in . . . god, as long as he can remember. He forgot . . . even with his eidetic memory, after all these years, he forgot that Ash always had that effect on him. But it’s not just him. I said it was an emotional reunion, and I meant it. Like, Ash is . . . for the first time, Ash is faced with someone from his past who looks the same as he always did, because he’s immortal, too. Alan is immortal, too. Those feelings---he had formed such a connection with Alan in Kalos, even before the immortality. Alan had helped Ash, too, back then, even if it wasn’t as obvious. And now Alan is here, and Ash hadn’t even realized that he needed this, hadn’t even realized---of course he has Pikachu, they’re platonic soulmates, of course he does, but . . . to have another human being that he can connect with, that he can be honest about his immortality with, that he won’t have to watch grow old and die . . . When they go to part ways, and Alan goes and hops up on Lizardon’s back, Ash runs after him and is like, “Wait! Alan!” And Alan does. He waits. And Ash asks him where he’s going, and Alan shrugs, because who knows. And Ash says, “I don’t really have anywhere I’m going either, not really. Wanna go wherever . . . together?” And Alan is quiet, and at first Ash thinks that Alan might say no. But then Alan smiles a little, and extends his hand. And Ash grins, and takes it, and allows Alan to pull him up on Lizardon’s back. So they start traveling together.

They continue what they were both doing before, but together. Lots of exploration, but also lots of world defending, like . . . they intervene with huge criminal organizations or legendary crises, yes, but they also keep an eye on political stuff, too. Like, at one point the Charicific Valley loses federal protection as a result of some corrupt government dealings in Johto, and as a result poachers descend on the place en masse. Ash and Alan book it to get there, but they get there a little too late. They save some of the charizard (a couple, here or there), but a lot of them were just . . . it wasn’t pretty. It was devastating, actually. But they did their best, all the same. They felt it was their duty. The least they could do. But this is a part of the reason why, years down the line, the charmander line is . . . basically extinct. There are maybe still some others, apart from Lizardon and Ash’s charizard, but . . . they’re very, very few in number. (And like, no, the Valley was not the only wild charizard sanctuary, but the fact that it was necessary at all tells us the charmander line was already hurting. This . . . this didn’t help.) But sometimes they are more successful, and as I said, they keep an eye on things like that. There are times throughout the years when a government gets too corrupt and they actually intervene to help stage revolutions. At one point, there’s a Champion (maybe even in Johto or Kanto around the time the Valley massacre happened?) who likes to wear a necklace made out of charizard fangs, and Alan actually jumps up on that stage to use that necklace to pull the Champion near so that he can punch him in the face, and the government was so corrupt at the time that this puts a bounty on Alan’s head, so that was a thing that happened. (Ash was there, but he was in the crowd and is like 4′8″ forever, so. Not easily seen.) They made it out of that one, but you know what, the guy deserved to be socked in the face. Alan had enough.  But anyway, main takeaway here is: They keep an eye on world events and intervene when necessary. If you ask Ash, “We’re . . . kind of like guardians.” It’s the least they can do, you know.

Both are considerably happier once traveling together. Now that he has someone human to joke about it with, Ash likes to make lots of jokes about their immortality. He says he likes to think of his age as, “Thirteen with an asterisk.” He sings songs like “Wouldn’t It Be Nice” by the Beach Boys for the irony. (’Cause you know, the first lyrics are, “Wouldn’t it be nice if we were older, then we wouldn’t have to wait so long . . .”) It’s been a long time since he was ever in the mood to spontaneously sing, but hey, he is now! And Alan asks him if he’s a steel-type, actually, because, “Your irony is killing me.” Ash is delighted. He’s so delighted. They eventually do tell each other all about what they’ve been doing in the interim. Ash is the one human Alan was always able to confide in without problems, so he does naturally tell Ash about his suicide attempt. And Ash? Now Ash is not delighted anymore. He’s furious, and horror-stricken (because he can’t help thinking about what if Alan had gone through with it, he wouldn’t be here right now, he wouldn’t be---) and he’s just, “We hadn’t had our battle yet! You promised!” Alan stares at him. “I wasn’t thinking about that.” “Well, you should have been!” Ash says, and before Alan can say anything else, Ash points at him and says, “Three hundred more battles. I want three hundred more battles with you. Promise me.” Alan is aghast. “That’s . . . excessive,” he says. “That’s an absurdly high number---” “We’re immortal,” Ash says flatly. “We’ve literally got forever. Promise me.” And Alan knows what Ash is making him promise, really, and so he nods. “I promise.” “Good. I’m gonna make sure you keep it. Right, Pikachu?” “Pika!” Pikachu says, and believe me, he means it. 

They get very close, as could be expected. They reach a point where they can communicate certain things just by looking at each other. Pikachu, as he always did with people he and Ash became close with, does have a way of saying Alan’s name after a time (Kacha), as well as Lizardon’s (Pikaacha). I know that the names Pikachu has for others typically start with Pi, but there was just no way I could make Alan’s name work with that, so. Just work with me, here. Sometimes he rides around on Alan’s shoulders or head as well, depending. Ash, being a person who conveys love through physical affection and who loves physical intimacy, is often the one to initiate any sort of cuddling. Sometimes he uses Alan’s chest or stomach as a pillow (and complains about Alan’s abs, which Alan absolutely has as a dragon rider, because god, they’re so hard, couldn’t he be a bit of a softer pillow?), or just throws himself back against Alan when they’re watching a movie or something, if they’re staying at Ash’s house or somewhere else. Alan doesn’t mind; he might not initiate the cuddling himself, but he doesn’t mind it. Ash is really grateful for this. Sometimes, when they encounter others, people mistake them for brothers. Neither Alan nor Ash ever bother to correct them, although they don’t think of each other as brothers. In Alan’s mind, he only ever had one brother, and that was his stepbrother, Clemont. In Ash’s mind, well . . . he just never really thought of his friends as siblings, you know? He was an only child. Closest he ever got was Gary, he guesses, and also probably Brock. So even when someone calls Alan his brother, he goes with it, but he doesn’t really think of Alan like that, not really. It’s different than that. But they don’t ever discuss it. Alan figures they’re fine as they are (gee, wonder who he learned that from, Sycamore), and Ash kind of does, too. I do think Ash probably thinks about it more than Alan does, particularly since . . . well, keeping in mind that mentally they’re both over a hundred years old, probably, by this point (and that in canon we never saw a maturity gap between them anyway), and Ash is demiromantic pansexual (in my headcanon, at least), it is possible that Ash would actually develop feelings for Alan. But---and this is important---Alan is still aromantic asexual, so he’s not going to reciprocate those feelings. And Ash is very emotionally intelligent, I think he’d be able to tell that Alan is not in love with him. (And he figures, well, he still looks thirteen anyway, he still looks like a kid whereas Alan looks like a teenager, so thanks for that once again, immortality.) And he’d be fine with that, really, so long as they can stay together. Like, whatever he feels, even if he doesn’t realize “I’m in love with him,” I think he’d at least know that he wants to spend the rest of his forever with Alan, or at least he does for the time being. And he hopes Alan feels the same way. And even if he did tell Alan, and Alan was like, “Oh . . . I can’t---” and was feeling kind of alarmed, Ash would assure him of this. Like, he might want Alan to know, but he doesn’t expect anything from it, like that. Don’t worry. But that said, even though Alan is aroace, make no mistake that Ash is just as important to him, like . . . we all saw those canon episodes, we know what kind of deep connection these two have. So especially in Immortality AU, where they’re the only humans each other has left, really, that bond is going to be even stronger. (It’s going to be a mega bond, if you will---okay, I’ll see myself out.) So that’s definitely where the queerplatonic relationship comes in, even if it’s never actually called as such between them. (Actually, in a situation where someone who knows they aren’t brothers asks what they are, Ash would probably just shrug and say, “Dunno. Haven’t thought too much about it. It’s good, though.”) So that’s a thing, too. 

But oh, I’m sure anyone who is still reading this is probably wondering . . . what about Lizardon? Because I mentioned up above that Lizardon still grew physically, and Alan was internally wrecked with worry and impending grief over this, and Ash, being emotionally intelligent, would pick up on Alan’s fear even if Alan never actually said . . . Well, you really can’t expect Ash to just let this go, can you? The thing is, Ash has a way with legendary pokémon. You know this, I know this---we all know this. And by this point in his immortal life, he’s just not down to take any nonsense from them. So he decides, okay, you know what, we’re just going to go ask Xerneas about this. Let’s go to Kalos and ask Xerneas what is up. If Lizardon’s not immortal, we’ll have Xerneas fix that. And if Lizardon is and is just growing anyway because he’s a dragon, hey! Now we know! And if he isn’t immortal and Xerneas won’t fix it, I’ll have a talk with Yveltal to fix me, Alan thinks, but doesn’t say. No, Ash thinks when he can tell that Alan is thinking ths, but also doesn’t say because Alan didn’t say his part, either.  So they go to Kalos so that Ash can tell Xerneas to get his antlered ass out here so they can have a little chat. (Probably he approaches this with a bit more tact, but . . . only a bit, because this is Ash we’re talking about.) And he succeeds at getting a chat with Lizardon, and Alan is suitably impressed, because like---it’s not that he didn’t believe Ash when Ash said, “Oh, no, trust me, I’ve got a whole thing with legendary pokémon, I can make him have a talk with me,” but it’s just . . . seeing is different than believing. Anyway, as it turns out (thanks to Pikachu helpfully translating), Xerneas’ power did affect Lizardon differently because Lizardon is a dragon by species. Essentially, it took longer to kick in, wrangling with Lizardon’s longevity. Lizardon did age normally for a few years, but all the while Xerneas’ power was slowing that process down, until it does eventually stop. Lizardon is fine. He won’t grow old and die. He’s immortal, too. Alan’s so relieved he nearly cries. “Great! Thanks, Xerneas,” Ash says, and he grins. “That’s all we had for you. You can go now.” Xerenas is more than a little bewildered by this sudden dismissal, but he probably does go. (A fic I was writing was originally a time travel fic wherein Alan and Ash, in the midst of trying to find Xerneas, were sent back in time by Celebi (who was feeling mischievous and pranky, I suppose) to the time period between TSME 4 and the League. They end up encountering Sycamore by happenstance, and Sycamore doesn’t realize that this is time-travel, and so it’s all emotional as Alan gets to see his father for the first time in 80+ years, and as Sycamore tries to talk to Alan about Lysandre, but Alan is cagey and won’t talk about that and says, “Nothing you say to me right now will change anything” and Sycamore doesn’t know why, and Ash keeps interrupting and changing the subject every time Sycamore tries to press, and also Alan refuses to call Lizardon out and Sycamore doesn’t know why that is, either (it’s because Lizardon is over ten feet tall and, uh, that’s going to be more than a little noticeable, probably), but he’s really worried because Steven told him that Lizardon healed fine after the incident in Hoenn, so ??? Anyway, I was originally a fic about all that, but then I lost my “current WIPs” folder, so. That’s gone now. I’m as devastated as anyone about this.)

There’s probably more that I could say, but wow, I’ve been typing this up for two hours and it is long, so I’ll leave it at this, haha.

[buoyantsaturn]

Innocent Sugar daddy au where Nico is the sugar daddy and Will is the sugar baby lol. (Nico just want to give Will everything.)

so i literally tried writing this exact thing once but i couldn’t get really far for some reason but headcanon format is different this’ll be so much better i promise

(ooh boy she’s real long this is getting a cut)

so nico ofc is super rich but when he was a kid he was super sheltered like homeschooled, got the best tutors bc his dad could pay for the best education possible, and nico learned how to run the family business (some international corporation that means nico has to talk to a lot of people and travel to a lot of places) by working there and never learned like,,,, communication skills?? my boys got like 4 friends and doesnt talk to anyone else

so jason tells him that he could easily hire someone to help with the whole communication thing and hes like “ok this is weird but i can hook you up with this sugar daddy website and you can find someone to pay to literally just have dinner with you a couple times a week” and tbh at this point nico’s ready to do anything

so he sets himself up on this website and finds the profile of a twenty-something blond guy who’s struggling to pay for med school and messages him to ask if he’s still looking for a sugar daddy (and boy does he hate using that term)

will, who was also struggling to pay for his rent and phone bill on top of student loans (and was also kind of lonely but he could deal with that probably), agrees immediately, especially when he reverse-searches the guy’s profile picture and finds out that he’s a big-time CEO of some huge company???

they set a time and place to meet for coffee and set up some guidelines, like how nico’s going to pay for will’s rent and phone bill (and “you don’t have netflix? you can get that too, i’ll pay for it”), and how will’s going to meet nico for lunch dinner at least once a week, as long as he has the time to do so. sometimes, nico might call will and ask him to come over, just to hang out, or he might have a work event that he doesn’t want to go to alone, and on those occasions will gets $15 an hour

will immediately feels guilty about taking this guy’s money for basically doing nothing, and he thanks nico about a million times before they leave that starbucks

so about a month passes and will and nico have had dinner four times and lunch twice and one night will’s getting ready for bed when he gets a phone call from nico. he picks it up, says hello, hears nico swear on the other end and hang up, so he calls nico back and asks what that was about and nico keeps answering in these super fragmented sentences like “i had a nightmare. it’s stupid. it doesnt matter. i thought– never mind. it’s nothing” but after like 2 minutes of stuttering he asks will if he’s comfortable spending the night at nico’s apartment

by the time that nico’s finally fully comfortable having will at his apartment and holding a conversation with him, he’s got some work event coming up in the city so he takes will out for the day to get him a suit to wear

nico: “which suit do you like the best? I like the dark blue, it brings out your eyes, but i like the grey too. and the black bc everyone needs a black suit. actually never mind, get all three” 

and ofc will needs ties to go with them, and a few pairs of new shoes, and while will’s distracted trying everything on nico buys him a fancy watch too bc he can’t help himself will deserves nice things

and you know what? since they’re out anyway, nico drags will into another store and buys him a bag full of new clothes, and they pass by a grocery store on their way back to will’s apartment so nico drags will in there too and buys him a few bags of groceries

so basically after all that when they get back to will’s apartment nico’s like “so i dont think i ever asked you??? if you’re ok being my date to this work thing???” and will’s like “i didn’t really think you had to ask???” and nico’s like “ok so then how would you feel if dinner next week was also a date??? or if that’s weird then we can just stick with what we’re doing now either way is fine”

will just like,, needs a second to confirm that, yes, his sugar daddy was asking him on like a date date and ofc he says yes, and he also makes sure that nico knows its not about the money but that he just,,, really likes nico???

nico ofc doesn’t 100% believe will bc will has to just like him for the money right??? but even if will does want to stay with him, that’s still really good bc he really really likes will and wants to keep giving him everything he can bc will deserves the world ok

i hope this is what you were looking for!!! thanks for the suggestion!!!

[iztarshi]

MaxFunCon East

The last transcript I haven’t done, so after this it will just be the finale.

Lucretia, WHY did you send them on a corporate team building retreat? Why?

No, she's brought the ENTIRE MOON on a team building retreat.

What kind of activities HAVE they been doing? Because those three on a corporate retreat still sounds like a disaster and Lucretia should KNOW THAT.

"Justin: I slept in a lot and blew off as many activities as I possibly could."

Yeah. That's about what you'd expect of Taako, really.

I'd do the same, tbh, I'm just hearing about the Trial of Teamwork and it already sounds deeply embarrassing. I don't even know what it is.

Okay, still embarrassing, but now also kind of creepy? Why is everyone having emotional moments all over the place?

Magnus REALLY wants a medal with a burly handshake on it. Somehow that's not even surprising.

Brad? I think I have heard of this guy… well, not heard of, he gets shipped with people on AO3. In fics I didn't read because I had no idea who he was.

Ah, guest star from another podcast.

Noelle, Carey, Killian and Angus going together is kind of adorable and kind of, uh, yeah, still creepy. They're ALREADY good friends, I don't think they needed whatever this experience is.

"Angus: I’m excited for what you’re gonna--I’m excited for what you’re going to learn about in there.

Magnus: High five!

Angus: Vis a vis treating your coworkers nicer!"

*laughing* Touché, Angus.

Magnus is like "wow, a breeze! *nyooooom*"

This is a lot of fuss to cross a dumb bridge. I think everyone could probably have walked? But, no.

Okay, Brad being a Bard of motivational speech is actually pretty amazing.

I wouldn't have guessed what the bridge was supposed to teach them, either.

Griffin DID say magic items. Magnus is the only one who ever remembers he's got a basic adventurer's kit.

Honestly, if they were meant to do any of these challenges the normal way I think they should have been made to leave TAAKO at the door. He thinks in magic.

Taako kicks Merle for being a dumbass and trying to jump a wall he could have stepped over. Then Merle tries to trip him. All in all, this is not increasing anyone's capacity for teamwork.

"Art: This is gonna be kinda anticlimactic, but it’s time for trust falls."

*cracking up* No one, NO ONE, plans for these guys.

*snort* Magnus deliberately doesn't catch Brad. Which tells you something about Magnus, really. He'd have done it from fifteen feet, sure, he doesn't want anyone hurt, but when it comes to making you feel welcome he's often a REAL JERK.

Also, by contrast, he just hasn't put Taako DOWN.

Brad managed to make Magnus AND Travis feel bad, though.

Most Dramatic Ponytail Chopping.

And I would like to note, Taako is just chilling on Magnus' shoulder through this whole scene.

Taako DID actually do the trust fall correctly, even if it was mostly out of complete boredom. He knew Magnus would catch him.

"This is the Totem of Constructive Criticism."

Constructive Criticism? From THESE guys? I feel like they're about to have way too much fun with this and not be in any way constructive.

"(T) Magnus: Sometimes you cast spells without any consideration of whether or not it might injure me specifically."

That's fair, yes.

*laughing* I can't believe Taako's counted as constructive. I really can't.

I suppose all their criticism WAS constructive, it was just, uh. The phrasing. I mean, Taako should be more careful about who is in the way of his spells, Merle should remember he has healing spells more often, and Magnus should think before rushing in.

Brad's is just kind of embarrassing. Whatever.

"(G) Art: In here, you'll face a deadly opponent. It's up to you to work together, protect each other, and take him down, carefully. Please."

Look, if you mean it's a guy DRESSED UP as a deadly opponent, you should say that, because these guys aren't good at implications.

Don't hit him with an AXE, Jesus, I know you guys are bad at non-lethal fighting, but have SOME middle ground between confusedly enhancing his abilities and hitting him with an AXE.

Empty chest… the real treasure is friendship, isn't it?

"(T) Magnus: We've done a lot of shit together that was like way worse than this.

(G) Art: Oh, this is too easy?

(T) Magnus: Yeah,

(G) Art: Well, why didn't you say so.

(T) Magnus: Oh no."

Welp. Honest, but not a good idea.

Okay, they haven't EXACTLY been in dungeons. But they've definitely been running around in underground places full of monsters.

Oh dear, body swapping! That might actually teach them some teamwork, I guess, since the problem so far has been that they're too competent with their own stuff. Er. Well, not entirely, but definitely enough not to need helping over a bridge.

Magnus just casts the first spell he thinks of on the first person he thinks of, because of course he does.

Magnus is more helpful with Taako's magic than Taako is :P

Or not. The levitate helped, summoning Garyl, not so much.

…and then he puts Garyl in his pocket. Was this just about stealing Taako's pet?

Taako wants his body to be teamed up with Brad, since Brad is competent. Fair.

You can put Taako in a cleric's body, but you can't make him be careful with his damned spells!

Taako managed to cast it in a different direction at the last moment.

I was surprised Taako was so ready to fall backwards off an actual 15 foot wall, but it's not Taako, it's Magnus. Who is ready to fall off anything.

Taako/Justin is disappointed there's no spells in Merle's list he can use for back up just in CASE someone doesn't catch him. But he does fall.

*cracks up* Taako WANTS Magnus to let him fall and grab the ruby. Priorities!

Merle, just FALL.

…although, I mean, this IS Taako catching, and we know the wall tempts your catcher with rubies, so…

Yeah. Yeah. The thing with the dagger might have been SAFER. Magnus had to save him with feather fall.

"Griffin: Uh, You make it to the fourth trial, [Audience laughing] You guys make it to the fourth trial which is the Totem of Constructive Criticism, and in place of all four of these heroes, are four fucking skeletons, and here's why. Not a single one of you followed the constructive criticism that you offered the person whose body you currently inhabit, from the first round of trials."

*laughing* It's truuuuue. Taako was still really reckless with his magic. Magnus still rushed in. Merle still hasn't healed anyone. Brad hasn't… well, I'm kind of glad he hasn't opened up? This isn't really the TIME.

Oh, no, wait. They were meant to follow the constructive criticism AS that person. Taako didn't heal. Merle rushed in as Magnus. Magnus wasn't careful with magic (although I think he hasn't actually HURT anyone?) Anyway.

Taako's actually really good with Merle's spells. And in real danger they suddenly DO know how to do teamwork, because the idea is for all of them to get out alive at that point.

I honestly don't think they're going to learn anything, because they're ALWAYS like this. Terrible until they need to be there for each other.

Uh. Is Taako's body still IN the ribcage he just cast flamestrike on?

Yes. Yes it was. Taako, a little CARE with the magic?

(Can you imagine when it was both him and Lup? How many things did they set on fire, turn into things, or otherwise just destroy because they didn't think about WHERE they were casting that spell?)

…It worked on Magnus. I mean, he DID say they were like his family.

*laughing* Okay, that was funny.

Pointless, really, since, uh. They're like that ANYWAY. Magnus has made mooshy speeches about friendship at the drop of a hat before. Taako always remains, at least outwardly, preoccupied with trinkets. Merle is grumpy. They pull together when they need to.

So, yeah, I don't think they learned anything, really.

[dreamyaqua]

Aww it's fine, I really appreciate that you were thinking about keeping it private, tbh, I would've overlooked that :') Also, I decided to answer this in a reblog because my answer wouldn't fit in an ask (damn these measly 500 characters pft)

And p l e a s e don't apologise! I love personal experience and sharing about our views and ideals! It was very interesting to read, so I really appreciate it.

Tbh, I'm not sure about Switzerland's ideals/culture when it comes to marriage and stuff. In my family, most members married and got children at some point, except for my grandma's oldest sister, she neither got married (nor has a long-term partner) nor got kids. My aunt had three children but they've all got a different father, and she was only married to the second man (maybe the first as well but I'm not sure-). However, I guess I've always had my own ideals? I can't recall anyone influencing me but I've always been big on independence and never really had the desire to actually get married so far. Of course, there's legal benefits to marriage but to me, I don't need a marriage certificate to validate my love for someone else, lol. As for children, I've never wanted them, I've never been good with children and it's a bit offensive to me, how so many (mostly females) tend to look at you weirdly when you express not wanting kids and not liking them, either. All my current irl girl friends have expressed to me at one point in time, that they don't want kids, either, and a few of them also dislike marriage, so I'm at least among like-minded people.^^ I definitely dream of finding "the one/my soulmate" with my Pisces venus and 7th House stellium, and who knows how such a connection might change my current ideals, but as of now, I prioritize my dreams and career aspirations. I can say though, that I'm definitely influenced by the female stereotype that's still apparent in our society. I don't want to be a housewife, I don't want to be a stay-at-home mom (there's nothing wrong with wanting that, btw!! but I-), it's definitely the rebellious Aquarius energy that wants me to do the exact opposite of the outdated female stereotype. :') I don't think people should be shamed if they don't want to get married, nor should women get shamed or pressured into having kids. Do you ever see someone pressuring a man to have kids? No, right? I'm also really concerned about our planet (climate change and all), so to me, I wouldn't want to pop out babies (that term is so funny oml) into a broken world like ours. We don't know what will happen once we run out of vital resources, once capitalist corporations deforested what we call "the lungs" of our planet for good reason, etc... I just don't want to place my descendants into a world like this, it would make me feel irresponsible as a parent. Of course, I'll try to think positive and try to educate myself and help fight climate warming but yikes, it's all just so worrying and scary, you know ;-;

Ohh yes, my Juno just barely made it into my 5th House in Sagittarius, my Chiron is still in the 4th but also in Sagittarius. And my Vertex is indeed in the same house, it's also in the 5th, at 0° Capricorn. But tbh, I can understand the Sag Juno making me interested in a partner from a different country/culture but the values of Sagittarius and my descendant in Aquarius... I feel like my exes had those values but they weren't what I needed in the relationship. Especially my last ex was Aquarius/Sagittarius-heavy (he had his Aqua sun in my 7th (mercury & uranus as well, though) and his Sag moon was conjunct my Vertex while his Sag Mars was conjunct my Chiron & Juno ;-;) but I would've needed a partner who sets me as a priority/pays attention to me and doesn't treat me like I'm non-existent. With this ex, I felt like I had to almost force him to meet up with me (it felt so bad because I'm usually not the type who initiates things and he was usually taking the lead, so the lack in that department made me overthink so much), he didn't seem that interested in spending time with me and I kept asking myself why he's in a relationship with me then (we talked about this before and maybe it was the Aries venus losing interest after he "got" me). I'm more of a clingy person in relationships (I'm good at not showing it too much though, so I wouldn't say I'm smothering!) and none of my former partners could give me the closeness I've longed for. None of them wanted to spend time with me as much as I'd have needed in a relationship. Of course, I need my alone time and independence as well, but with them it was really a bit too much ;-; I guess what I need in a relationship and what I've been missing in my past relationships is being able to just be homebuddies together and spend quality one-on-one time together. I don't need to go out and do crazy stuff all the time, all I want is romantic quality time with lots of cuddles and affection, my love language is physical touch, btw. I can be really insecure and therefore also jealous as well (I don't show that either ans just work it our with myself), so I do need reassurance, attention and lots of love (when my Aqua ex told me about how pretty that one girl was we passed, I felt my heart drop, I wasn't angry-jelaous, I just felt sad/hurt. I never told him, though). In my past relationships I often felt neglected and/or taken for granted. Like an old gameboy you pick up to play with when you're feeling like it but otherwise leave it in the corner. I'm still bitter even though it's been years but I feel like I never really got the closure I'd have needed (with my last ex, since he just ghosted me and that was the end), so finding someone who could help me heal relationship pain actually sounds amazing to me. I've been reflecting so much about past relationships and wondering where I went wrong and picked apart anything that I could use to blame myself for their actions/words towards me and it's tiring. How do you get over stuff like this? I feel like I push it away and so it never fully leaves aahhh.

Your first ex with all those air placements sounds like a nightmare to me, omg (I'm sorry :')). I've made a new friend who's a Cap sun + mercury, Libra moon, Aquarius venus + mars and even though I'm so air-heavy, I think it's so difficult for me to deal with this lighthearted, flirty and talkative air-energy sometimes. I mean, I can be like that as well, but I prefer to be (consciously) flirty with someone I'm actually interested in and not just... friends/people in general.💀 Also the fact your ex insulted your sister and flirted with your cousin are such red flags omg. I personally don't like the "joker" types too much (depends on what kind of jokes!), I'd much rather have an emotional and sensitive person who takes me seriously :o but then again, such a tsundere type like your second ex with all that earth energy can also be too closed off and if someone isn't willing to open up, it's also hard to deepen the relationship :/ I had that with my second ex and even though I can understand why he probably was that way (he was concerned about our age gap and probably didn't want to burden me with his problems), it majorly got in the way of our relationship's progress. He was an Aries sun + mercury, Gemini moon, Pisces Venus and Leo mars. With him, I feel like the lack of communication and his mental struggles he couldn't open up about were the downfall of our relationship. Otherwise, I feel like I'd have matched with him quite well and he was mature but also made jokes (though, some I weren't very appreciative of💀 this is very tmi right now but he was my first and during my first time he joked about "missing the front gate and taking the backdoor" and it terrified me :')). My third ex was so opposite of him (a Libra sun, opposition ha-ha *badum tss*, sorry :'), Pisces moon, Libra mercury + Venus, and Leo mars). I blame my Leo rising for attracting all these guys with fire placements. 😤😂 With him, I think he was definitely too immature/childish for a serious relationship at that time. He prioritized friends and didn't seem to really value such a close bond with someone else. We did share good times together but it quickly went to shit.💀 So yeah, I don't really prefer any of my exes either. (My first ex was a Cap sun + mercury, Libra moon, Sagittarius venus, and Virgo mars and that was just yikes. I found out he was a drug dealer and I was only 14 back then-🙂)

OML SORRY THIS GOT EVEN LONGER I'M SO SORRY NIAMH FEEL FREE TO HIT ME-

I usually don't mind my asks being answered publicly but thank you for being considerate🥺❤ Your explanation just made it so much better for me, ahh thank you!! I am actually a person who's afraid of having fun/letting loose so someone who'd help me with that would be nice indeed🥺and omg, my juno is conjunct my chiron as well, I have no idea what that means but I guess it's something with a soulmate and pain, so maybe they put us through a lot of pain/pain is involved in the relationship?🥺

Aww, I just wasn’t sure so I felt it would be best to keep private. I know for future reference now, thanks for letting me know!  👍

And yeah, I actually joined an astrology discord a few months ago (I left recently because there were so many people and it got really overwhelming 😅) because I wanted more insight into the Chiron-Juno situation! I had asked a few blogs on tumblr too. I’m not actually interested in the idea of marriage itself, but rather just a best friend for life type of relationship. I don’t like saying I’m a committment-phobe because I’m actually really insecure in relationships and expect my partner and I to be monogamous AF which makes me jealous and I know that’s a problem I need to work on 😬 But to me, marriage is security for children due to tying all your assets together too (everyone views marriage differently so I’m not saying people are right/wrong for having children married/unmarried btw! ❤️) and because once you’re married, everyone suddenly expects you to pop out babies and quit your job and that’s not what I’d like lol. Maybe its different in Switzerland though? Irish mothers (we call them ‘mammies’) are very much part of the culture though and its considered weird to be in a long-term relationship without children or marriage 😕 I have an aunt who is in her 40′s and she’s with her boyfriend since their mid-20′s and they’ve never married, yet all everyone does is ask when they will do it but they both love their jobs (he’s a painter and she works in animation) and travel lots together and idk but that’s closer to my ideal than ‘settling’ and I think my Sagittarius Descendant agrees too 😅 Do you think your culture or perception of nearby relationships have influenced your thoughts about marriage?

Also, the placement can bring some good. It can signify that there will be a long-term or ‘fated’ (my Vertex is very close by, but I think yours is in the same house as Juno so its similar too!) relationship where the other person will actually help heal any pain that arised from relationships - this is especially true if one of their personal planets or angles is conjunct, such as the Ascendant, or Venus. The house its in shows what you need from a partner but might have found you were declined before. For me, its the 6th house so I would need a partner who’s attentive and hardworking (Virgo rules 6th) and that brings emotional and sexual intensity and monogamy (Scorpio Vertex + Chiron + Juno) to the relationship, creating a power couple type of relationship where you cooperate as a day-to-day team and find love and care in the little everyday things (6th daily life + acts of service) to be fundamental to a happy relationship. This made complete sense to me because the past two relationships I’ve had were with guys whose lack of ambition or work ethic really clashed with own values and I never felt that they took my work and studies as seriously as I did, especially since they’re such a big part of my life. I didn’t feel as supported as I would have liked, and likewise, I wasn’t able to support them as well as I could have because I disagreed with their values too since they were more laidback about work and didn’t stress out too much about stuff like attendance or grades just so long as they passed (for me, ‘just passing’ is a personal failure lmao). Likewise, it frustrated me when they would openly make comments about other girls appearances because I expected them to only be interested in me, which sounds so possessive 💀

Interestingly, their temperaments were both different though. The first (Sag Sun/Libra Moon/Scorpio Mercury/Libra Venus/Aqua Mars) was very much a joker type who thought ‘no’ meant ‘change my mind’ and he tried to get along with my family and friends (he called my sister fat though and flirted with my cousin over text and asked if he could meet her in person... but they all liked him so it was hard telling them what he was like in private💀). And the second (Libra Sun/Cap Moon/Scorpio Mercury/Virgo Venus/Cap Mars) was more of a tsundere who didn’t really make an effort with my family at all and didn’t get why they were important to me (my Venus in 4th is crying lol). My mum still says she prefers the first one because of that but I don’t prefer either of them 😂 If your Chiron and Juno are in Sagittarius, what values do you think align with what you’ve been missing before? And with which house themes? 👀 Your Descendant can also play a role in what you need in someone else~

also this answer got so long and self-centered, I’M SO SORRY LAURA PLS KILL THE LEO SUN AND SUN DOM IN ME 😭😭😭

[samcatthorne]

I'm adding Tony now 'cause your answers for Loki & Bucky made me curious

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would banghogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff (more like a Slytherclaw, tbh. But if I had to pick one, I’d say he falls more under Slytherin, but only slightly.)best quality: He’s the one you go to for a killer party worst quality: Like Loki, that pride and mouth of his will likely get him killed ship them with: Pepper TBD brotp them with: Bruce (SCIENCE BROS!!!), Loki (see Loki’s ask meme for reasons why) needs to stay away from: alcohol, former mentors, the subject of his dad, thinking about his mistakes, missile shrapnel, people who place WAY too much blame on him for collateral damage during battlesmisc. thoughts: Yes. Pepper is crossed off the ship list, and for two reasons.

REASON NUMBER 1: The ending scene of Spiderman: Homecoming where (spoilers) she shows back up after the “break” with Tony that left him feeling empty and depressed at the mere mention of her, immediately scolds Tony for something beyond his control, then kisses him and essentially says “Let’s get engaged to give the press something to obsess over.”

(1 contd.)To be fair, Tony probably should have warned Peter about the upcoming press conference LONG before literally right before it was supposed to happen. Give the kid time to make a decision, think of a speech, or even, ya know, get dressed in the new suit. That way (again, spoilers), when he inevitably says no, Tony can just cancel the press conference instead of having to make up something on the spot. And Civil War did technically take place in 2016, while S:H takes place in 2020, leaving a 4-year gap for the two to get back together and work out their problems.

(1 contd.) Except there are three issues with this: the first is that Tony’s never given a shit about the convenience of the press before and has actually left them straight up hanging in a previous movie, so why should he care enough now to give them something to talk about other than having a convenient way for the writers to throw Pepper back into Tony’s life and anchor her there with a ring? 

(1 contd.) Second is that they’ve had a (very rocky) on-again-off-again relationship since the first movie. The reason Pepper always left was because she never felt like he respected her unless he felt he was going to lose her. And that’s totally within her right. Except she also infantilizes him and is extremely condescending, even toward an--admittedly misguided--attempt at a romantic gesture that is still obviously wholehearted and done with the best of intentions. Tony gives her the run of Stark Industries because he believes she has the will, the drive, and the ability to keep it successful. Yet she yells at him because she “gets blamed for his mistakes,” which had already been happening anyway, since she’d previously been his personal assistant so she was still in charge of his public image and therefore responsible for his fuckups in the eyes of the public.He basically gave her the biggest fucking promotion an employee of a giant corporation like Stark Industries could ever get, and she blames him for this new job--which most likely tripled her salary, maybe even more than that--having the exact same faults has her previous job. She was basically running the company before, Tony just made it official so that she could actually get the credit. As for the strawberries thing, if she had known Tony for that long and actually knew his personality previous to that meeting, she would have known that he was right and that it was actually progress that he remembered there was some sort of connection between her and strawberries. He had paid enough attention to realize there was a connection, but didn’t have the reminder post-”the moment he started actually paying attention” to know what the connection was and so obviously assumed that it was a positive connection because who wouldn’t? She is miserable enough to look for new career opportunities in rival companies in basically all three of the Iron Man movies, but not so miserable as to actually leave. Why? She is aware he has a problem with alcohol, but doesn’t actively discourage him from drinking until he’s already had too much. In Iron Man 2, he gets so drunk he wets himself in the Iron Man suit, so he clearly has a problem, yet by The Avengers, Stark Tower has a fully-stocked bar for casual consumption. She points out his faults when he fucks up, but doesn’t try to help him (or doesn’t try very hard/for very long) to fix his fuckups, even when it’s clear he needs help from someone else--usually someone close to him--to give him the push to fix it. Yet, for all of the dysfunction, for all the yelling and the fighting and the arguing and the anger and the tears and the drunken mishaps and the godforsaken strawberries (yes, I’m fucking salty), she doesn’t leave. If she really gave a damn about him or their relationship, she’d have either gotten help in fixing their relationship (i.e. counseling), or she would have left.

(1 contd.) My third issue is this: if she really loved him, if she really gave a fuck about him, wouldn’t getting fucking married be a bigger deal than a last-minute publicity stunt? And it’s not just a stunt for the sake of the cameras, either. They have a long kiss before going out there, so their renewed relationship is obviously real, not just for the sake of the MCU public. Yet, she has basically no reaction to Tony going, “Hey! Let’s get married!” I’ve been in relationships before. I’ve had romances with various levels of commitment. And in none of them was getting engaged a small matter, even if it was partially for the public. (Yes, I’ve had a mildly similar situation. It’s a long story.) Popping the question is a HUGE FUCKING DEAL in our society. Ladies (and I assume gentlemen as well) are ingrained with the idea that a proposal is a humongous commitment. It’s a promise that isn’t to be taken lightly. But there wasn’t even a pause from Pepper. Yes, I understand she was under a lot of pressure by the press. But a) that should be something she’s used to by now, and b) she wouldn’t even stop to question her years-long on-again-off-again boyfriend offering to propose purely as a last-minute bit for the cameras an emotionally appropriate “WTF”? Where is the reaction? Where is the delight? Shouldn’t she be just a little bit happier that he’s proposing? Or at the very least be a little bit peeved that he’s choosing now of all times to propose? There’s just so much wrong with this scenario that I cannot even comprehend it.

And, finally, REASON NUMBER 2 that Pepper has been crossed off the ship list: I’ve recently started a FrostIron RP with a friend and, while I only ship it in the context of our RP (meaning I don’t really accept it as MCU canon), my inner Loki did get a little salty (read: jelly) that Pepper was kissing Tony.

Yes. I am trash. Deal with it.

(also, Emma, please don’t hate me. I know they’re an MCU OTP of yours. >.

[amorremanet]

4, 31, 44

asks for fanfic writers.

Well, I did number 4 over here, and number 31 over here, but!

44. do you write linear or do you write future scenes if you feel like it?

I prefer to write linearly, but it often doesn’t get to work out that way. I also outline things a lot, but not always linearly either, and I do a lot of early draft scenes before I even know where it’s going to fit into things because I have an idea and want to get it down right away quick.

Like, one example of this happening lately was a direct result of me trying to come up with a superhero team name that hasn’t been used already and getting so frustrated that I just went, “Okay, screw it, I’m not looking at this anymore tonight or I’ll just give up and name them The Fighting Mongooses — which isn’t even my joke to use, it’s an old Futurama joke.”

The scene idea that grew out of that is basically my three main mutant weirdos — Seb, Lucy, and Josie — trying to figure out a team name. It is pretty much entirely Lucy’s idea because all three of them are sorta vaguely related to the FBI’s department of mutant affairs, but Seb and Lucy are recently awakened mutants who are sort of on a trial run and not planning to stay with the FBI in an official capacity,

and Josie is stuck filling a few different roles for S.T.R.O.M.A (primarily that of media liaison and de facto team therapist) as a result of how they got recruited in the first place (which involved them accidentally getting on the wrong side of what they were allowed to do with the, “I’m a mutant but I really just want to live my life and not be a bother to anyone, superheroic shit sounds really stressful, let’s not” license, and getting caught, and being handed an offer that basically went, “Hey, come be on our team on a consultancy basis and we’ll make the censures all go away”)

—but none of them really likes working with S.T.R.O.M.A, for several reasons, and Lucy, bless her heart, thinks they should have a team and work together to be heroes.

This is a Thing that some super-powered people do, and teams are registered and licensed like mutants are in general — which isn’t actually sinister so much as tedious, like?

It’s a fair point that, when we’re talking about people who can breathe fire and shoot fricking laser beams out of their eyes and whatnot, then that is not really the same thing as the government trying to make people register on the basis of their race/ethnicity, religion, sexuality, etc. Like, yes, a lot of the rhetoric that can be pulled out in justification of this can be Bad, but we are talking about people who can exhale toxic gases, mind-control people, shoot freaking eye lasers, walk through walls, etc.

That’s all stuff that has legitimate, immediate potential to harm people, and a potential way to compromise — trying to keep everyone safer without infringing unfairly on the rights and civil liberties of mutants — is to treat it like getting a driver’s license. Like, acknowledge that most people didn’t ask for mutant superpowers and it’s not something that they can help (but it’s also a little more complicated than, “you have the mutant X gene so it’s mutant superpowers fun-time, whee”), don’t blame them (especially in the cases where really young kids have freak accidents with powers that no one suspected they had, and especially because there’s a tendency for that to happen in situations with kids who are being bullied or abused)

—but also acknowledge that these powers do have the potential to do a lot of harm, both to the people who have them and to others, and try to do whatever possible to make sure that resources are provided for mutants so that they can learn to control their powers and have the licensing laws in place to make sure that they get said resources. (This is obviously VERY ideal and it doesn’t usually work out so neatly because we’re talking about the U.S. government trying to do things, and there are so many factors — money,  institutionalized isms, public opinion, grassroots campaigns on all sides, fuckery in Congress or the different state and local legislatures, list goes on — that make this go other than as planned on paper. But in an ideal world, this is how it would play out.)

So, in this world, getting a mutant license can be done at the DMV or the local Secretary of State’s office (if you live in some place like Michigan where we’re a bunch of hipster fucks who refuse to just have a DMV), and there are some tests to go through, to prove that you’re not going to lose control of your powers in potentially lethal ways and make sure you know certain legal rules (e.g., “hey, we get it that you did not ask to have mind control powers, but using them to make someone have sex with you? That’s rape. Don’t do that, rape is wrong and you’ll go to prison”).

There are more tests to go through if you want to get the superhero license, but it’s still more comparable to getting a license to drive a motorcycle or a school bus than any of the other metaphors for registration that we’ve seen in different X-Men stories.

Some teams are even Big Deals and have corporate sponsorship and everything. Their members are basically celebrities (at least, the ones who are Big Deals on the level of Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, Captain America, Iron Man, Ozymandias, or the old school Minutemen from Watchmen), and whether or not any of them are actually good at being superheroes anymore is a matter of some debate.

But in fairness, the smaller deal heroes affiliated with these teams are usually still doing the work, even if tools like Doctor Delphi pretty much have a few token acts of heroism, show up to NYC Pride every year, shoot commercials, and compulsively document their lives on Instagram, without doing any work that makes a meaningful difference at all.

Also, superhero comics and their related adaptations are still A Thing.

Like, I see where Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons were coming from by replacing the superhero comics with pirate comics — but I could also see people keeping superhero comics around even with irl mutant superheroes. You’d probably also see ex-heroes making memoir-style graphic novels, and not-that-thinly veiled versions of irl heroes showing up in the Batman or Hulk comics.

S.T.R.O.M.A has an entire sub-team whose primary job is going over comics, movies, YA lit, and all the rest to make sure that no one’s using, “lol fiction” to spill information that has a security clearance attached. They have a picture of Stan Lee on a dartboard because the sheer number of times they’ve had to investigate him is ridiculous. Their counterparts at MI6 have three filing cabinets just for JKR.

But Lucy is a really pumped up about this team idea, so she’s trying to get Seb (who is less than entirely jazzed about this concept but refuses to just let Lucy go do the thing on her own) and Josie (who has mixed feelings about the whole thing but is curious enough to come along for the ride) to help her come up with team names. Mostly, this involves the two of them shooting her ideas down as such:

Lucy: *suggests a name*

Seb: Marvel already has one of those.

Josie: Also, there are two real-life teams registered with that name and I think four different individual vigilantes.

Lucy: *suggests a different name*

Seb: DC got there first.

Josie: There aren’t any real world teams with that name, but it has been one of the most popular names independent vigilante names for five years running.

Lucy: *suggests, “The Crusaders”*

Seb: Ehhh, do we really want to invoke the Crusades? I mean, okay, the word sounds cool, but the Crusades were military campaigns of unlawful conquest and Islamophobic genocide. Ffs, did Sister Mary Ignatius stop teaching that in her history classes after I got forced out of St. Andrew’s or what?

Lucy: You actually paid attention in Sister Mary Ignatius’s history classes? Like, enough to remember them?

Seb: You didn’t?

Lucy: I had better things to do than give that old bat more than the bare minimum, Bastian. Like, y’know, extracurricular community college science classes because the science curriculum at St. Andrew’s was bullshit—

Josie: Let’s stay on topic. So, there’s already a fictional group that’s called the Crusaders, plus two real world teams, six indie vigilantes who call themselves. ‘the Crusader,’ and it’s also regularly found in weird compound names. I wish that I could bleach all memories of Captain Dick-Cheese Crusader from my mind, but alas, it doesn’t work that way.

And so on and so forth. Until they finally hit the point of Lucy going, “FINE. If you don’t like any of MY ideas, one of YOU suggest some already. jfc, you’re older than I am, why do I have to tell you both to be more proactive”

So, Seb suggests, “The Apostates” because it is the first word that comes to his mind aaaand…

Josie: While I am pleased to heard Seb suggest something first, there’s already a team registered by that name. They’re a bunch of alumni or former affiliates of Lehrer and Woodham who had various kinds of falling outs with the good Doctors, or had Yael and Elizabeth kick them off one of The Wardens or one of their other teams for some reason. Most of them are actually lovely people, but the one who calls himself Bocca Lupo is the woooooorst.

Seb: …Personal experience?

Josie: His civvies name is Danny Walker. He used to be a fashion photographer before he discovered his powers. He was my freshman year roommate at Pratt. We dated for a while in senior year—

Lucy: And he dumped you so now you’re bitter and being a pain in the ass about Seb’s suggestion because you’re still mad at him?

Josie: Oh, no. I dumped him. He wouldn’t stop acting like eating disorders are a joke after I told him that I have one to try and make him stop being like that to one of our classmates.

And then there was a bunch of backstory-expounding from Josie that tbh, isn’t going to end up in the full draft of this scene, ever, since it really needs to be spaced out more and woven into things a bit more naturally — but the endgame for the moment is still that any team names related to, “apostate” or, “apostasy” are vetoed in full because wow holy shit, Josie’s ex is a douchebag and that he’s one of the major players in the Brooklyn-based Apostates is really Not A Cool Thing

And I have no idea where this is going to fit into the story or when but

It’s a scene that I like and drafted out in my borderline-illegible longhand so I wouldn’t forget the idea

I forget how I wanted to wrap this post up, so

Uh…… *jazz hands*? yaaaaaay?